I'm learning a lot on this thread one of the things I really like is to use the word survivor and not victim, yes we all are survivors!
Another thing I just wish to state is regarding Gumby's question of suppressed memories and Lady Lee's reply:
with trauma do not recommend forcing memories out through hypnosis. it can be done sometimes but if the person is not really ready for the memory it could put them in crisis mode. It is therapeutically better to deal with what one already knows. Forming a stable basis for ongoing work is crucial to recovery. And the whole point of therapy is to help a person be stable - not continually keeping them in a state of crisis.
I was told by my therapist that our mind won't let us recall things until we are ready to handle it. As scary as it is when the memories come back somehow that statement helped me in the crisis time because I knew I was ready, maybe not so willing but it did give me strength to face things and do the work in therapy instead of trying to suppress it all again. Actually once it comes out suppressing it leads to depression, anger and all kinds of ugly emotions at least for me it did.
Now Gumby you've seen how this can and does affect a child seriously the hurt goes on and on.....One thing I must add to this is many here have shared their abuse stories and they are gut wrenching for one to read. I can't imagine actually living through what some children have had to cope with. These are incredible strong wonderful people who have shared their stories.
What I'm trying to say Gumby is my story is nothing like what many have told us about them. I had two men when I was 5 and 11 grope me ie; hands down my shirt and panties. I got away but told no one. I felt dirty, shameful and internally took it on as something was wrong with me for these men to think they could do that to me! It was 20 years later when I told my Mom! She said if I had told her and my Dad back then my Dad probably would have gone after those men and done some bad damage. I don't know. My Dad never molested me but my younger sister says he did her. When I reached my teens I know I didn't like some of the looks my Dad gave me or some of the comments he would say, they were out of line. My sister was 5 years younger than me and my Dad was very deep into his alcoholism then so I think things were different for my sister. BTW she is diagnosed with schizophrenia.
For some reason I always kept my kids away from my Dad, meaning they were never alone with him. I don't know why I did that when I did it, but I just did. I hadn't uncovered my abuse during the time my children were young but indistinctly I protected them from anyone who seemed to me to be suspicious.
My experience by no way was as horrible as some have had and yet the feelings were pretty much the same. Do you see how little it can take for a child to be damaged and hurt? We haven't even discussed a child who has never been physically molested but suffers daily verbal abuse. Same feelings, same dammage.........it all hurts!
You survivors are an incredible bunch of people, please never stop talking and helping others.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((grouphug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Kate