hmm.... where to begin? I should first state that I'm someone who has nothing to hide, although I'm not prooud of some of the things I've done in my life, they were nonetheless experiences to be learned from, and I have spent much energy in trying to do so. This may turn out to be a rather lengthy posting and even still, there are many things that I will innevitably not include.
I was born in Victoria, BC in 1982, the majority of my childhood is not available to me so I have to live mostly on information from my family to fill in the gaps, but we moved around a lot after that up until I was 5, when my parents divorced. My father got custody of us kids and we moved to... damn...Mission, BC i think, at any rate he re-married as did my mother, both of my new step-parents would turn out to be... unfortunate inclusions in my life.
My step father, Dave, was a typical "mans-man" he owned a cabin in Demming, WA as well as over fourty acres of forest lan, most of which he had logged. his son, although a little crazy was a good enough kid, and was quite a support to me for the many years to come. children have a bizarre innate sense of judgement of character, and I never trusted Dave, there was something simply not right with him, and my fears were correct. What ensued was seven years of sexual and psychological trauma. looking back the pattern is all there, when they were first going out Dave would often comment to my mother about my interests as a kid, science, classical music and books, all the things that boys shouldn't be interested in in his opinion. it bothered him, but he could never get used to it, and it festered in him until he began to act upon his dislike of my "abnormal" behavior.
What Dave did is rather irrelevant, suffice to say that my family unfortunately is founded upon "Don't make waves"... hide everyhting under the carpet and hopefully it'll disapear. But eventually the situation got taken care of... somewhat, I was barred from entry into the United States by social services for a few years... but... eventually it just kinda fadded away. Dave did get the message though and from then on he left me alone.
But, as fate would have it I was dealt a new hand of cards. My step mother had a horrible nervous breadown, a result of having approximately eight years of repressed memories come flooding back in the period of a single day. most of her trauma was related to sexual abuse dealt upon her by her father and brother. I have two younger sisters, and after her trauma she suddenly became extremely protective of them, she worked to create "evidence" that I was molesting them, and she worked hard. But, social workers aren't stupid thank goodness and they finally decided that the entire case was bogus. It wasn't a difficult desicion to come to, they told my father afterwards that victimised children don't play with and seek out the company of their abusers in the waiting room of social services, they could see no victimised mentality in my two sisters. thank goodness for modern psychology!
June just wouldn't give up though and one day while we were living in Sooke, BC after we all went to school, I came home to... an empty house... nobody home, which, in a family of seven is very bizarre indeed. seven o'clock rolled around and my father came home, went upstairs and came down with a letter left by June. It was an ultimatum, get rid of the boy, or you never see your wife or kids again. 20 minutes later i was in my grandparent's car. I was fourteen.
June came back the next morning from what I understand, I lived in Victoria with my grandparents for a few years... idly going to the meetings with them at the local congregation, but eventually i moved down to Bellingham to live with my sister.
I don't know exactly how it happened, or where the idea came from, but I had gotten myself a Saab and was making frequent trips to Seattle on the weekends. I started in the gay escort service, posting ads in the Seattle Gay News. I did that for about two years, and, although I'm not proud of it... I learned alot about human psychology, what motivates people, the secret lives that people have the true potential to live, regardless of social standing. Eventually I got sick of it, I could see myself becoming jadded and bitter, hateful and angry with humanity and myself.
So I joined the Army. what better way to escape than tromp off as a soldier? it worked in many ways, I got a god swift kick in the ass from basic training (especially since I went through Basic at Ft. Benning, GA..."home of the infantry"). went on to Air Traffic Control School at Ft. Rucker, AL and from there to Yongsan Garrison, South Korea. I controlled military traffic along the DMZ for about 5 months when my chain of command told me that due to my canadian citizenship I could not recieve a security clearance and was going to be re-classed as infantry. ha ha, nadda, sorry, not going to happen. I fouht exceedingly hard, but eventually secured an honorable discharge.
so here I am now in Lynden, WA, getting settled in again, but now with a new drive in life, everything is behind me now, I have succeded in de-programming myself of the JW doctrine with shadowed over me for so many years, racking me with guilt over what I was and who I had become (mostly about my sexual orientation, gays are "an abomination" as the Watchtower says).
So here I am, as I said, I have nothing to hide from the world, judge me if you may, there are 7 billion people on this planet, if you'll judge me, there are two more who won't, i'll get to know them instead.
Feel free to comment, ask questions or post thoughts regarding what I've said here.
Sincerely, Dustin