Running ten years behind on my age

by Vivamus 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Vivamus

    Well, I am beginning to feel pretty good about myself.

    It?s been almost two years since I left, and the first thing I did, was do everything they forbade. Man .. that was fun ?

    But, now, I am beginning to live a rather quiet life. Steady relationship, I feel rather balanced.

    Oh joy what it was when I was told I run like ten years behind on my age.

    I?m not even sure what was meant by that remark.. Perhaps the fact that I totally refuse to worry about anything. That I have an unshaken belief system, that when I really need it, or in deep trouble, something good will happen. Well, you can?t blame me for having that belief, up till now, it always did.

    Or perhaps it is the fact that I hate to argue. I will rather swallow my angry spiteful remarks than utter them. Unless you really piss me off, then you?ll have a fight you won?t easily forget, but it takes a lot for me to reach that point.

    And perhaps it was cuz I am not really an adult. But I don?t wanne be either. I like being in this freedom-still-rocks kinda place. I work to pay my bills; I have fun when not working. Nothing wrong with that.

    And then I was told ? that right now, I am living like I should have lived ten years ago.

    I feel incredible sad by that remark, cuz it is true. But then, I may not have had these fun teenage years, I did learn a whole lot through other experiences?.


    And then, perhaps, me posting this to get some kind of reassuring feedback, is exactly what was meant with the remark, you don?t act your age?.


    Blue Bubblegum Girl, feeling kinda introspective

  • dustyb

    i don't worry about anything anymore either. it is just stupid because all worrying does is create stress. but i do argue and i will uphold what i believe is right through research and such.

  • Been there
    Been there

    Viv........the solution is to have kids. You can be as young as you want and noone thinks anything of it.

    You have empathy for young people........what an honorable trait.

  • Satanus

    I find the same in my life. There have been a few threads on the subject. The wt teaches us to suppress many natural instincts that nondub people pass through as they grow up. Some of them die (the instincts), others refuse to die, and go to sleep, so to speak. When we leave the org, stop suppressing stuff, it slowly comes up. It seems like the healthy thing is to live those things. Better late than never, is a good expression in this case. They are phases that are temporary. Some xjws use the expression of catching up. It can be fun. My opinion.


  • Sassy

    well I am 45 and just doing things out of the freedom of escaping.. so imagine at 45 trying to get out of my system my lost years!

    what a waste.. I try not to think about it too much

  • Gretchen956

    Viv, just remember, growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. All of us lost pieces of our lives to that cult. I didn't get out until late 30s. At first those wasted years made me very angry and hostile. But then I got over it. Our experiences and difficulties and joys from the past all work together to make us the people we are now. And who we are now is beautiful.

    I've been told for years that I don't act my age. When my son was young I always played Nintendo, and then Playstation with him. So of course even now I play and I'm 47! (Final Fantasy ROCKS)

    Enjoy life, some people wait for years to get a life, all the time wasting the one they were given. Work 50+ hours a week so that they have a good life at retirement and then die before they get to enjoy it. I say enjoy it now.

    And do not, absolutely do not worry about what someone else might think as long as you are not hurting anyone else, and hopefully not self destructive, then enjoy it.

    You go, girl!


  • freelife

    I know how you feel. I want to make up for the 26 years that Was a slave to the JWS. Now I take each day as it comes. I try not to stress about things because I wasted over a Third of my life not pleasing myself. No person should make you feel guilty about how you live, they have been able to many of the things that common people do. You did not get that oppertunity so live with gusto and take advantage of what you have now. Try not to worry about peoples attitudes you have no control over their thoughts. Everyone is a different individual so dof what you want to do and enjoy it without guilt. The JWS gave you guilt over human desires don't let anyone else do that to you now.


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