follow on question.

by pudd 11 Replies latest social relationships

  • reboot

    I wonder whether the men who feel they would be justified in hitting a woman after she acted in self defense were men who grew up with violence.

    Perhaps it's a learned reaction, that appears in emotionally fraught situations because they've seen it and believe it's an accaptable way of dealing with women. If it is-they're not blameless;but need to admit they have a problem and perhaps look at anger management. Anyone can see the damage that can be done by an angry man means that the odds are stacked unfairly against the woman.The time I decided to fight back with all my strength resulted in total paralising shock when I realised I coud'nt actually do ANYTHING. I nearly died.

  • imallgrowedup

    I responded in the other thread that there is a "fight or flight" instinct that kicks in when someone perceives they are in a dangerous situation. I have been where this woman was - on several occasions - and I can personally attest to the fact that even if the aggressor does not intend to actually kill or permanently maim the person whom he has cornered, it can feel that way to the victim. For me, in one particular instance, I was blocked into a tiny bathroom - the fact that I am claustrophobic did not help the situation. Needless to say, I reacted in a way that I am not proud of - but it got me out of the bathroom and relieved the intense fear I felt. I learned a lot from that episode - which was to walk away and refuse to deal with the man - because as Nos pointed out, it's not difficult to sense when it's going to get ugly. The only reason I didn't walk away from the bathroom incident is because I couldn't. However, I've also learned from subsequent incidents that walking away can only further enrage the aggressor. The more I write on this topic, the more I realize that oftentimes - not always - the woman is going to "get it" no matter what, and when her "fight or flight" instinct kicks in - the man will be lucky if he walks away able to bear children again - and IMHO - he will deserve it. On the other hand - if she misses - she's in a lot of trouble. My final conclusion - men should not hit women - period. However, if the woman is the aggressor, and she is not capable of kicking him into the next state, (therefore, the "fight or flight" instinct probably would not kick in for him) - he should restrain her until she calms down, or until help arrives.


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