Joysome...I'm not certain how old you are. Please know that whatever issues your mother has on her own, are hers. You are not responsible for making her feel good, especially if it means not being true to yourself. This would be a form of dishonesty I think.
I can identify with your sensitivity towards your mom, and her emotional problems. I too, lived my young life trying to cope and deal with these types of issues. These are things a child--even a young adult, is ill-prepared to handle. I felt totally responsible for making my mom happy. She had so much sadness in her life.
Finally, though, I hurt her terrible when I "walked away" from the borg. She was so hurt, that all she could do was hate me. She hated me with a vengence, and I paid dearly. I was not df'd, but she labeled me and shunned me all the same, for many years. Just last year, I was finally strong enough to let her know some real truths. I know it hurt her, but it hurt me too. She had begun to shun me again, after a period of ten years of limited association. There was no cause for this, other than the borg tightening it's hold on members.
On the one hand she does honestly seem to admire my courage; on the other hand, she considers me the "walking dead". Our relationship has been ruined, and we tread lightly with words when we speak on the phone. Phone calls are only limited to her health issues.
The truth was, that in trying not to hurt her for all those years of my silent obedience to rules and regulations, I was in fact, hurting both of us. I do hope this doesn't happen to you.
/<