Things that make you wonder

by RubyTuesday 10 Replies latest social humour

• 

  RubyTuesday

  How important does a person have to be before they are considered
  assassinated instead of just murdered?

  Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

  Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny
  for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Taxes?

  Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
  buried in for eternity?

  Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

  How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
  be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

  Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
  like every two hours?

  If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

  Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

  Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
  binoculars to look at things on the ground?

  How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
  Miss

  If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

  Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
  press Ctrl Alt Delete and start all over?

  Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
• 

  stillajwexelder

  WHY IS LIFE SO STRANGE
• 

  JH

  Hi Ruby,

  Another thing that makes me wonder is why didn't I see you around since so long? Nice to see that you are still around.
• 

  RubyTuesday

  Oh, I forgot my favorite.

  Why is Cargo transported on water and Shipments transported on land?? Should'nt it be the other way around?

  Yes , life IS strange...makes it more fun and interesting.
• 

  Prudence

  Hi Ruby,

  Here are some of my favorites from George Carlin:

  Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ??

  If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ?

  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

  Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

  Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

  Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

  If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

  Is there another word for synonym?
• 

  worldlygirl

  Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

  I know this is a joke thread, but SERIOUSLY, why do they do this???? I also noticed the other day in a public restroom a "No Smoking" sign in braille. Like if you are blind the first thing you are going to do when you walk into a public bathroom is to start feeling all over the walls to see if its okay to light up. WTF?
• 

  Sirona

  This is a classic:

  Why is the fear of long words called

  Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

  ??? Is that sick or what? Imagine being a sufferer and having to say what you suffered from....

  Sirona
• 

  maxwell

  Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

  I know this is a joke thread, but SERIOUSLY, why do they do this?

  I'll take a guess at this. Perhaps a blind person is sitting in the backseat of the car on the driver's side and is driven up to the bank machine. Also, I've been in places where no walk-up bank machine was available after the bank closed, so I simply walked up to the drive-through machine. Perhaps any blind person living in the area would have to do the same thing.
• 

  Englishman

  The dumbest thing I ever saw was a sign hung in the window of our local fish & chip shop.

  It said: Closed for lunch.

  Englishman.
• 

  Abaddon

  What makes me wonder?

  Oh, loads of things;

  There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
  And she's buying a stairway to heaven
  And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
  With a word she can get what she came for

  Woe oh oh oh oh oh
  And she's buying a stairway to heaven

  There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
  And you know sometimes words have two meanings
  In the tree by the brook there's a songbird who sings
  Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven

  Woe oh oh oh oh oh
  And she's buying a stairway to heaven

  There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
  And my spirit is crying for leaving
  In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
  And the voices of those who stand looking

  Woe oh oh oh oh oh
  And she's buying a stairway to heaven

  And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
  Then the piper will lead us to reason
  And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
  And the forest will echo with laughter...

  ... all that makes me wonder for a start...

  Sirona: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is not what you say it is. The fear of long words is sesquippedaliophobia of sesquippephobia, my Greek's not good enough to say for sure. But as Hippopotomos is 'water horse', and monstro is rather obviously dervied from monster (or vica-versa) I think that you've been had.

  Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia actually means 'water horse monster afraid of long words'. Next time I'm at a zoo I'll try yelling "antidisestablishmentarianism" or "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" or "floccinauccinihilipilification" or;

  methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalany
  lalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalany
  lphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspa
  rtylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleu
  cylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspar
  tylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylser
  ylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonyliso
  leucylglutaminylaspfraginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylpheny
  lalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcyste
  inylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylargin
  ylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylgl
  ycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylpheny
  lalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalany
  ltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylva
  lylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglu
  taminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalan
  ylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylalanylprolylisoleucy
  lphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartyl
  aspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryl
  tyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylseryl
  arginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparag
  inylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhistidylleucy
  lvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalany
  lprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylser
  ylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylas
  partylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylser
  ylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhi
  stidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethio
  nylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylp
  rolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine...

  ... known as Tryptophan Synthetase to its friends...

  ... and I'll let you know if the hippos show signs of fear...

  I will refrain from pointing out differences in our paradigms that would have lead you to realise this, as I'm being nice...