I am really amazed at all of the positive responses that I've gotten to my two posts. I never expected that. I like to think of myself as an amateur writer of sorts. I like to write poetry and I can post some of them here from time to time. It won't take a genius to see where some of the inspiration for my writings come from. But I have to tell you, seeing people quote from something you've written is very gratifying. I love to read and I love to write and when I think about my life in the "truth" it really hits me, "If I had stayed there I would have been very limited about the things I could read and write." I would be discouraged from looking into different philosophies, which is something that I've really come to enjoy. And, concerning my siblings, this subject plays a major role in how I now look at our relationship.
I would say that even if my brothers and sister were to start speaking to me again, so much of who I am now is dependent on an open mind and I find SO much enjoyment from talking about the nature of life and the human experience from a philosophical standpoint that, really, what would I gain? My conversation with them would, out of necessity, be very limited. They would not be allowed by me to talk in a manner that would advance their desire to bring me back to the fold. And if I were to start talking about Nietzche or Jung or Freud or Eastern Bhuddist practices and the positive aspects of Satanism, well, you know the reaction. Every word from my mouth would be considered Apostate and they would clamp hands to ears and run away screaming. Ultimately, that's what keeps me from going back: How can I make myself comfortable around people who are so comfortable forgetting they have a brain?
Which brings me to something else that bothers me about my siblings. You know, they say that they do not associate with me out of love for me and for God. Makes them sound like a pretty faithful bunch, no? But my question is, how much of it is love and how much of it is fear? Fear that by associating with me they too would get DF'd? Or perhaps they don't want me to "corrupt" them with my beliefs? Which #1 is foolish because , if anything, I have ideas. As Kevin Smith said in Dogma, I have ideas, they can change. Beliefs are solid. Peolpe kill for beliefs, die for beliefs. The relationship my siblings and I have is a perfect example of the destructive nature of beliefs. So anyway, they feel I may corrupt them with my ideas. Well, if that is something that scares you, how strong, really, is your faith? Does not their own Bible say they should be willing and able to defend themselves before kings? I don't see how you shore up your own faith and provide a good example of why your way is best by simply refusing to hear the other side of things. And that's one HUGE problem I have with the organization : It's Arrogance.
The WTBTS is a very arrogant institution. In looking up the meaning of an apostate I came accross a section in an older WT that basically stated that a person who wants to be a JW must accept the fact that the Governing Body is the only source of interpretation of the divinely inspired word of God the Bible. Sorry, I cannot accept that. I cannot bring myself to fathom how I could now ever again believe that the sole interpretation of the word of God the Almighty creator, the instruction manual of the Universe, the only key to mankinds ultimate salvation, rests in the hands of a group of 12 men (no women, mind you) who live in New York. Why New York? Why 12? Why men only? That suggests that every other interpretation of the Bible, every translation, every single sermon of understanding delivered by anyone else, EVER, is wrong! That is to say that 6,000,000 Witnesses are the right ones and the other 5,994,000,000 + of the world's population is dead wrong, worshipping the Devil. And how do the Witnesses EVER plan on overcoming that? There is no way that they could ever reach all of those people, let alone convert them. It's a situation that is doomed to fail. And because it fails over and over again, there's always plenty of time to encourage people to get out there and try harder. I mean, looking at a January WT and seeing the #s of worldwide Witnesses growing and growing each year is encouraging, but on a congregational level, here in the states, could you REALLY FEEL that growth? It seemed like the same people all the time to me. The same people stewing in this small space with these small rules and these small minds, gossiping and back biting and getting into each other's business and causing disruption and on and on and on.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Feel free to comment on this last post, I want to see what all of you can add to it. I'm sure there's plenty.