Ever give a ridiculous 'talk'?

Steve Lowry

One day at the Hall when I was about fifteen I guess, I looked at the talk schedule to see my name posted next to my next talk. I hated giving a talk. It made sick to my stomach before I would go 'on'. But I wanted to be a good little JW and do my part so I joined the Ministry School. Well anyway, I'm standing there looking at my name and then I see the subject matter of my pre-selected talk. Ya ready? Masturbation! Yep. I couldn't fking believe it. We NEVER talked about sex in my house. It was mucho taboo! And now I'm gonna have to stand up there on the stage in front of everyone I know (including my mother) and talk about chicken chokin'? Just beautiful. Sheeeeeit. Well, I read the prescribed outline and it was obvious that the Society?s position was way against any ?member pullin?. (There?s a surprise.) Were they kidding giving that talk to a fifteen-year-old?

Well, the night came (so to speak) and I got up there and did it like a man! (er-um) You shoulda heard the silence fall when I announced, "Tonight, we?re gonna talk about masturbation." You could say I had matters in hand. (Smile) After all I WAS an expert on the subject! It was ridiculous; I had to stand up there and denounce a practice that I (and most probably everyone one else who was there) was doing on a regular basis. It was weird.

All kidding aside when I think about this particular event, it really sums up just how insensitive and even cruel this stupid religion can be. To even suggest to anyone that it?s a sin to masturbate and instill all that unnecessary guilt into people was way bad enough. But to expect a fifteen-year-old kid to give such at talk on such a sensitive issue is just fking wrong. Tell ya what though. It sure taught me how to be a hypocrite. Which of course was much needed training for my JW evolvement. Thank you Watchtower Society for training me how to recognize a hypocrite when I see one. Due to my JW "training", to this day I am ever on the watch to make sure I don?t fall into hypocrisy of any type.

Any one else have any such memories?

Amazing

I suppose looking back some of my talks were a bit ridiculous ... but I did give a few inappropriate talks, such as about marriage before I was married ... but ... I do recall how nervous I was giving talks before I gained experience ... my legs would shake, my voice quiver ... and then the worst of all we had a speaker stand that was open so that our legs were visible ... and one day, I gave the instruction talk with my zipper accidently down ... no wonder I got so many smiles ... as the years went by, my talks got better, and I gained confidence ... but it was a rough go at first.

Steve Lowry

"... and one day, I gave the instruction talk with my zipper accidently down ..."

Sounds like YOU should have given MY talk! (LOL)

Steve

NameWithheld

Yep. Somehow I gave not only the first talk about masturbation, but they also gave me the follow-up talk that came 2 weeks later. So in the span of 2 weeks I gave 2 talks on it. At 14 years old. Fun fun fun!!

If I recall I was stressed out before the meeting, so to calm myself I went and had a quick choke of the 'ol chickin

moses

I remember when I was around twelve I gave a bible reading that had to do with fornication and adultery.When you are that young you don'tknow any better you want to be a good JW but now that I look back I can't see how a responsible elder would allow young children giving talks on those subjects.

Elsewhere

So did ya "squeeze one off" before the talk to help you relax?

moses

No I was too young .

BluesBrother

I am amazed that several people have similar experince with having been assigned such material. I can recall that when I was the School Overseer I always glanced at the subject matter when drawing up the schedule. Sheer common sense and regard for your "Brothers" made one ensure that youths and new ones were not given delicate subjects

Come to think of it , why did we have to discuss such things at the meetings any way?

SadElder

Oh my what a thing to do to a 15 year old. I was the school overseer at that time and I gave those talks to the elders. Thought it would be good for them to stand up and lie. Such a fury caused over a little wanking. The old fossils at Brooklyn should "Leave the poor kids alone please."

willyloman

Come to think of it , why did we have to discuss such things at the meetings any way?

Exactly! There's a public talk called, "A Godly View of Sex and Marriage." I used to cringe every time it appeared on the speaker list. It was always given by some guy from a tiny little backwater congregation, a yokel with a sixth grade education and a visible fondness for the word, "penis."

These "sex talks" were almost always poorly delivered, awkward for everyone concerned, and especially embarrassing for the audience. I could never seen any sense in delivering these topics to a group of people that included young as well as old, the prudish as well as the enlightened. Can you imagine inviting someone new to "a bible based talk" and having this be the topic?

Ever give a ridiculous 'talk'?

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