Dumb 'experiences' you were told as a JW

by BettyHumpter 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  1. Some brother swam through crocodile-infested waters in Africa to be able to witness in some remote village.

  Here you go Ding:

  w90 2/1 pp. 26-31
  

  The most outstanding event of my early pioneer days was when we received our new name, Jehovah’s Witnesses, in 1931, along with the booklet The Kingdom​—The Hope of the World. I distinctly remember feeling overawed at the thought of using that illustrious name, wondering if I could use it worthily.

  Another memorable event in those early years was baptizing my brother Jack and his wife, Dorrell, in the crocodile-infested waters of the Nuanetsi River in Southern Rhodesia. Before the immersion, we threw some rocks into the river to scare off any lurking crocodiles. Later, in the 1950’s, I baptized my mother in a bathtub.
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  Biahi

  A sister told my mom that she had Smurf curtains in her babies room. One night, after he was put down, she opened the door to check on him. She saw the smurfs come off the curtains and dance around her sons crib. She took the curtains down and burned them. 💩
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  enoughisenough

  a funny story my dearly departed told: He was the driver in a car group and they went up to a home with no easy space to turn and leave...There was a wooden garage there that was open and it seems advantageous to pull into the garage ( I might have known once why the group thought this good idea, but it has left me ) So they pull into the wooden garage and their car breaks through the old wooden flooring and they are stuck! Eventually the homeowner comes and finds them in this precarious situation...he didn't seem to hold it against them--so it ended OK

  Then there is the funny story of a Mr X who went to a woman's door. you went up some steps on the end of a longish porch and walked across it to get to the door. The woman came to the door and was very nasty so as to run him off. So he is almost to the end of the porch when she calls for him to go back over to her-which he did. She said to him, " I just wanted to see if you were stupid enough to come back".
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  Sea Breeze

  One of the many I have heard over the years goes like this:

  A JW couldn't reach the doorbell because a wrought iron fence encircled the home. So, he banged on the bars and a big German Shepherd came running up and pushed the gate open. Thinking fast the JW shoved a Watchtower into his mouth and said, "take me to your master". The dog calmed down and dutifully trotted away. So, he followed. He found the owner of the house far back in the back yard.
  
  A discussion ensued and the HH remarked that his dog had never acted like that to anyone before because he was a trained guard dog. He took the literature and later accepted a home bible study. Last report was that he was making fine progress along the road to life.

  Not sure if the German Shepherd ate his spiritual food as well.
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  road to nowhere

  The hobo whofound a tract along the tracks and came in. Or got hit in t h e head by a truth book. Part 2 is a priest taking a truth book away from a dub and throwing it.

  There are lots of generic stories about obedient children following directions. These are identical when told by baptists, Presbyterians, Catholics, jews, muslims, athiests. Absolutely made up.

  And the dear dad and mom thank you for: the witness stuff, joining military, college. I think these letters may be true because we grow a brain around age 25.