To the Friends.

by El Kabong 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    Many people here don't really know me. I guess it's because I really only post occasionally. I try not to get involved in the controversial topics or discussions, thus making me one of the unknowns.
    Some of the friends I've made here have left for one reason or another. But, I think the time has come for me to say goodbye to the board for now.

    I've posted last week that my Mom suffered a stroke which left her paralyzed on her left side. I got a couple of reply's to that post which I appreciate very much and I am very thankful to the couple of people who showed their concern.

    My Mom is currently in a rehabilitation hospital. It's like she got old overnight. It just sucks seeing her this way. My Mom is still a JW and has been a JW for years. But, she was the type of woman who wouldn't hesitate to tell elders, even Circuit Servants that they were full of shit.

    Before I go, I just want to tell whoever is interested a little about myself. I just turned 41 years old. I went into the "truth" when I was about 5 years old. So obviously, It wasn't my choice. But, I've come to realize that growing up a JW made me who I am today. I went through my period of being strong in the truth, but like so many others, when i reached adulthood, I saw through all their bullshit and left. I met my beautiful wife in the Kingdom Hall. I've been married to the same woman going on 22 years.

    We were very young when we got married. She was 18 and I was 19. We eloped because the congregation was against our marriage. The elders didn't know we were married for about a month. It finally came out because they followed us one day and saw us going into a hotel room. They called us in front of a judicial committee and basically made up their minds to disfellowship us for fornication before we even got there. I asked them if it was a crime to sleep with my own wife, and pulled out our LEGAL marriage licence. You should have seen the look on their faces. It was priceless. Of course, they couldn't disfellowship us. But, they did tell us that our marriage wouldn't last because we didn't have Jehovah's blessing. Well, 22 years later, I'm still married to the same wonderful woman. Oh...and by the way, I didn't HAVE to marry my wife..if you know what I mean. She wasn't pregnant or anything like that. We married because (gasp) we loved each other.

    We've suffered together through feast and famine (mostly famine ). We started with NOTHING. But at least we can say that everything we have today, we got together and worked at getting it. Life hasn't been easy. We both were JW when we were very young and we both made the decision to leave the Religion. Have we found another religion? We've tried several other Christian denominations, but our experience has found that they are pretty much all the same. We've raised 2 beautiful children. Our oldest daughter started College last fall, and our son is a Senior in High School. I don't think we did too badly considering we didn't have "Jehovah's Blessing" when we got married. The funny part is that we both feel that we've made it this far BECAUSE of God's blessing. God has always been good to us. He has protected us and our children, and I still pray that he continues to take care of us.

    But, my Mom is my last link to the Religion. I think it's time to put all this JW stuff behind us and not look back. I feel like I've gotten to know so many of you through your posts. Some post's I've enjoyed, some pissed me off at the time. But, I could never bring myself to post more. I just felt like maybe I just didn't belong here.

    Anyway, I hope that each and every one of you find happiness in life.

    All my best,

    El Kabong.

  • Brummie

    Well el, when you do post I enjoy reading, this post was also excellent, its interesting to hear more about your story. I dont come here so often these days so I missed your message about your mother, I'm real sorry to hear that, its wrenching to see someone so close to us suffer these things, I hope she makes a full recovery and things turn for the better.

    Thinking of you, you will be missed if you go


  • Valis

    Best of luck to you and yours. Hope your mom will be OK too. Come back whenever you need a listening ear.


    District Overbeer

  • Princess

    I'm sorry about your mom. I missed your post about her. I don't post much here either, and I know what you mean about not feeling like you belong.

    Anyway, I hope that each and every one of you find happiness in life.

    I hope the same for you. Best of luck.

  • nilfun

    El Kabong, I'm so sorry about your Mom, this can't be an easy time for you ((E.K.))

    I appreciated reading your story.

    You should have seen the look on their faces. It was priceless.

    I bet!

    I wish you the best on your journey

  • Sassy

    El, I really don't know if I have caught any of your posts before. I just now looked up your post you refer to about your mother by looking at your post history. I never saw it before. I'm not sure how I missed it, or if I had just opened it at work and thought I'd read it when I got home. (Many times if the post is long, I won't read them unless I get time at home, if I am checking them from work.. first from the prospective of it taking time during work, but even more so, a thought intense thread needs more detail attention and given serious reflection rather than comments without thought... "does that makes sense?" so I'll save it till later.. unfortunately when I do, sometimes it gets burried by the time I get home or I don't get on later that day and a thread which I would have wanted to reply to with effort, gets missed) For that I apologize.

    I can see by your comments in that thread and here, that you have a lot to give and am sorry that I am only just now reading your words.

    Is this all we have to look forward to? It just doesn't seem fair. I know it's a harsh reality of life. The pastor at the funeral today made a point that eventually this (pointing at the coffin) is where all of us is going to wind up. It doesn't matter who we are or what we do for a living, what we have, what kind of car we drive. This is the reality of life.

    Sorry for the rant. I'm just sad right now and I don't know if I'm even making any sense. Thanks anyway for reading this.

    I'm sorry you were sad and few replied to you.. I have had that happen and I know how that can feel. Especially about something serious, we reach out for a reason and it is like reaching out a hand no one takes. The somberness of your words are a true reality and we all must deal with especially understanding those things we were taught have no foundation for a future..

    It is a new time for me to be 'coming out' so I still have much ground to cover to be able to say

    I think it's time to put all this JW stuff behind us and not look back.

    I'm envious of that. I know I have far to go to get there. I am sure that there are those around like you who are an example that we can get to that point that we can let go and move forward. I'm glad you and your wife will be able to do that. I think it is wonderful to hear about your love for each other and the longevity of your marriage defying all accusatons of others that it would not. You have found a gift in life that most people can only dream of. You give us hope.

    Thank you for posting this thread and not just leaving first. It meant something to me to read your words and somehow gave me strength in a way I can't really explain.

    Like I said before, I'm sorry I missed your thread about your mom. I hope she is going to be ok but I know now that life isn't like we thought it was and unfortunately our parents and loved ones will deteriorate with age.. I am scared about what hope there is for their futures, for our futures. I hope we can find some answers. I hope you find yours.

  • SixofNine

    The best to you Kabong, and good wishes for your mother.

  • Mulan

    I didn't see your post about your Mom, el kabong, but I certainly have appreciated your posts.

    My father had a stroke last summer and I know how devastating it can be to a family to have that experience.

    I hope you stay here. I rarely post on the controversial subjects either (unless its alternative medicine or psychic stuff)

  • larc

    El, I also missed your earlier post about your mother. The posting traffic here is so voluminous that some threads get buried before they can recieve an adequate response. My own wife had a stroke a year ago last September, also on the left side, so I can empathise with you and your mother. I wish the best for both of you.

  • wednesday

    I'm so sorry about your mom, i can empathize due to being a caregiver when my mom was ill. It is scary knowing that now i am the Mom, and when she died, I stepped up to the head of the line. It was hard to watch her grow old so quickly.

    Were similar , b/c i married as a teen and we are still married. As the old Chuch Berry song goes"... goes to show , u never can tell".

    I do read your posts, and am glad u post here. Maybe u feel alone, i know sometimes i do. I often wonder if anyone reads my posts.

    I hope u will not go, u are a part of the board, and i am grateful for every last poster out there.


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