Kathrine, I would like to speak to you from the heart as a former member of the board of directors of an organization dedicated to helping former Jehovah's Witnesses reclaim their lives.
Many of these good people had lost their mates over disagreements with the Watchtower Organization. They had also lost their friends. But the common thread through all my association and assistance of people who were leaving Jehovah's Witnesses was loss.
I'm sure someone here must have recommend that you read Ray Franz' book, "Crisis of Conscience." I certainly hope that you do.
I'd also like to recommend that you read, "The True Believer" by Eric Hoffer. It's a book about mass movements whether they are religious, political, social, etc.
Please be very careful and go very slowly in your study with the Witnesses. They are NOT what they appear to be. And once you've been baptised, there is NO honorable way for you to leave the organization.
While this religion of authority may impart a present feeling of settled security, you will pay for such a transient satisfaction the price of the loss of your spiritual freedom and religious liberty. God does not require of you as the price of entering the kingdom of heaven that you should force yourself to subscribe to a belief in things which are spiritually repugnant, unholy, and untruthful. He does not require of you that your own sense of mercy, justice, and truth should be outraged by submission to an organization of men and their fanciful teachings, like the ones you already question.
If you think you disagree with things now, wait until you discover all of what they're not telling you now that you will be expected to fully embrace later.
This is your life you are dealing with, your future happiness with your husband, and perhaps later - children. Please be careful. Why do you think all these people are here on this site? Why did they leave the JWs? To freely sin? Look around you; do you really believe that?
Please feel free to email direct to me if you like.
Francois