What are some of the wackiest comments you've heard at a meeting?

by doodle-v 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • acsot
    acsot

    I've mentioned this one before, but once an elder giving a part on the service meeting said "brothers and sisters we must work hard to increase our sexual appetite". Well, let me tell you we just roared. We were laughing so hard we could barely breath. Then he gets angry at the audience and tell us that we have bad minds and wrong thoughts and that of course he meant to say "spiritual" appetite and how could we be like that etc. etc. The more he sputtered and stammered the worse it got, we just laughed even harder.

    If he could have disfellowshipped the whole congregation then and there I'm sure he would have!

  • freelife
    freelife

    I knew of a very old bro who was making a comment about how the USA was gods chosen country and he ended his comment with "GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA"

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    One prayer was given, and near the end the "brother" said:

    "And please forgive our falling shorts...."

  • Gordy
    Gordy

    I remember we had a WT about how in ancient Israel, the mother taught the daughter domestic work and the father taught the son secular work.

    A brother answered that the "Mother teaches her daughter housework, and the father teaches his son sexual work."

    It caused the biggest laugh I had ever heard in the congregation. The WT conductor and the reader could just about carry on.

    Another time a young sister was making a comment about Adam and Eve. She was meant to say "They came out the bushes naked."

    But she pronounced it "They came out the bushes knackered."

  • Coop Man
    Coop Man

    I've got a few goofy ones:

    A question was asked "If someone at the door wishes you a Merry Christmas, what would a proper response be?", and an older Sister in the hall raised her hand, grabbed a hold of the mic, and said "I always wish them a Happy New Year".....

    A question was asked during the Watchtower Study about defaming or bringing reproach on Gods' Name, and the conductor wanted a few examples. A young boy in the hall, around 5 or 6 years old, raised his hand and gave the answer "Daddy says God Dammit". Yall can just imagine the embarassment the boys father went thru that day!

  • brooklynNY
    brooklynNY

    The conductor at the book study I was attending once make this weird comment regarding the tower of Babel. He said that mankind?s knowledge was advancing too quickly and if God didn?t confuse the people by changing their languages, they would develop the technology to space travel and discover Jehovah?s other inhabited planets. He also said that by confusing the languages God brought himself several thousands years before man would acquire the technology to travel at the speed of light.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    We were very lucky to have a witty WT conductor. One Sunday, he was asking us to comment on a photo in the WT. The picture was that of a hispanic man standing in front of bunches of bananas. One brother commented that the man must be from Mexico because the man was standing in front of all of those ears of corn. The conductor knew they were bananas but he did not correct the brother, so as not to embarrass him. Another brother decided it was his duty to correct the first comment and inform us that the man in the photo was probably from South America because those yellow things were not corn, they were in fact bananas. The conductor, wanting to help the first brother save face, quickly quipped, "Wait a minute, isn't that the corn-banana? Many of our brothers have been fooled by the corn- banana."

    Heather

  • wednesday
    wednesday
    A young boy in the hall, around 5 or 6 years old, raised his hand and gave the answer "Daddy says God Dammit". Yall can just imagine the embarassment the boys father went thru that day!

    reminds me of the old Bill Cosby stuff. He tells of how his father use to always say"God Dammit, and jesus Christ" So he as i child thought those were he and his brothers nemaes.. One day his father yelled out to him"God dammit" and he replied" no dad, i'm jesus christ"

    he he he

  • sandy
    sandy
    So I raised my hand and proudly announced: Ketchup!

    Elsewhere, that is an adorable story. lol

  • sandy
    sandy
    So I raised my hand and proudly announced: Ketchup!

    Elsewhere, that is an adorable story. lol

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit