You all have really good advice and I appreciate it all. Makes everything a bit easier to deal with. It's such a sad thing knowing that she may be the one but I'm losing her to some stupid corrupt organization that takes vulnerable people and brainwashes them.
Stay on here and learn how to "leave jw's" try jwfacts website and you will see the option to "fade".
The hard thing about this is her roommate is a jw and her sister is hardcore about being a jw. When she misses meetings, her sister gets on her for it. Sadly, I don't fading will work.
punkofnice - Experience comes with age. It's definitely hard to accept what you're saying but I know I would have to. Thanks again.
nonjwspouse - I'm so sorry that happened to you. What you said blows my mind. The power and control behind this cult is unbelievable. They're basically puppets. This whole thing is almost like the movie "Divergent" in the sense of control. Thank you for sharing your situation and your advice. One thing I have to say is, I personally thing it's harder for a man to break free of being a jw because the man has so much power and control and could literally do whatever he wants without consequence.
Have you got a bottom line Stevilla? You keep talking about what will make her happy? What about what will make you happy? Could you live with the real risk that she’ll go back? You know people return for all sorts of reasons including especially to avoid breaking family ties.
What would make me happy is knowing that she left to save herself and not for anyone. Not for me or her family. If she left solely for me, then I know it wouldn't last. She mentioned a few people that left the cult because they loved a nonjw but later returned for their family. Once she said that, I knew that the chances just got slimmer but I told her to do what SHE wants and not do it for anyone else. That's where her friends messed up.
Confusedandangry - That is so terrible. I'm sorry. Thank you for sharing and your advice. You're right. I still have my whole life ahead.
Unless you're kind of a masochist...then, by all means, move forward. I guess giving her space would be good- than she wouldn't be able to ever pin the fact that she left her family for you....
Definitely not a masochist but more of a person that wants to help others be better and live a better life if that makes sense. I told her that this wasn't an ultimatum between choosing me or her family and I hope she listened. Her life as a jw is terrible and depressing and that's what she told me so me being me, I want to help her. People need that extra push and I was hoping that I can give that to her. If she decides to leave, I would be the bonus on top of her finding happiness. I can only do so much right? Can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved sadly.
If she wants to leave, let her leave without you in the picture at all. Then you'll know it was really what she wanted to do (and she'll know that too).
That's essentially what I want and why I stuck with her knowing she was a witness. She's been wanting to leave for a while and again, I wanted to help her. Maybe I'm an idiot with a big heart but I tried. Thank you for responding and your advice.