I get it and certainly have experienced the same feeling.
Do you recognize?
Thanks for the comments,
What I failed to mention, is that this paradigm shift works on two sides this time.
Reading the toppics here, i feel that I don't care about old and new scandals and untruths anymore.
Attending the Kingdom Hall, i feel that it's all Spanish to me.
Having lost the attachment to the toppics, I feel i'm having more focus on people. JW and non JW. Human interest.
And that's why I wrote that i'm surrounded by good people now.
Hope you get what I mean due to the language gap between Dutch and English.
Ditto what so many have commented here.
When I begin to read a post and it's attempting to dissect JW doctrine, unlike the past when I would have devoured it to see what it going on in JW Land, I usually can't get through the post. Quite simply, IDGAF!
I feel the same way about some of the video posted or that I stumble across on Youtube. If they were 5 minutes, or maybe even 10 minutes, I might give it my attention, but NO WAY am I dedicating a 1/2 hour or an hour to this crap anymore. I don't have enough time left in this life to waste it.......................DOC
I get it Gorby. The tangled up doctrines do my head in. Oops sorry British midland idioms. I'm glad you're surrounded by good people. Life's good when beliefs don't matter. We're all just people trying to do life the best we can eh?
Fine explanation of what growing awareness feels like Gorby!
For me, I cant believe how much more "cult like" all the terms and lingo sound now that I am not right in the center of it and believing it.
Yes, millie! Like, "The Truth." Could anything be more arrogant?
Or how about, "getting your time in?"
Or how about, "I believe," when they really mean, "what the Watchtower says."
You can really just dismiss everything easily at that point.
What i identify with in the OP is this is a process of transition and change - and we individually go through various stages and find ourselves changing, shifting our perspective - e.g., what was once important to me, I can now let go. But we arrive "there" perhaps by different routes and different timelines . It's not unlike grieving for the life we once had - a life that,as hard and /or miserable as it was - still defined us and shaped our thinking .
Change is a necessary part of life - I'm a different man today than I was even a year ago and certainly 5 years ago, let alone "who" I was as a JW . The astonishing thing to me is I can bump into JW relatives and, in listening to them barely 2 minutes conclude they are still back in a time warp I left decades ago . But I can be charitable and say silently to myself, So be it - I don't need to convince them of anything.
I too have noticed the change in me as to all things JW, yes I read here, and post sometimes, but as with many others I no longer spend the same time, JW Doctrine almost zero time, just enough to get a handle on a bit of Noo Lite, topics that deal with personal conflicts with elders etc again, almost zero time.
I cannot be arsed to watch long rambling videos either.
In the early days of leaving the cult all these things were avidly absorbed by me and were helpful, but no more.
I shall continue to visit here, and post when moved, but I think this gradual stepping away from all things JW is a good thing for all of us.
Any new changes (doctrinal, policy-related, or otherwise) don't get me uptight. 99 times out of 100, they simply reinforce my conclusion that I was right all along about leaving.
Although I still see the occasional new "are-you-f**king-kidding-me?" moment... :smirk: