Were we different?

by Fe2O3Girl 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  stillajwexelder

  I truly believe we are no different to many who are left in -- especially the youth and younger element -- many are leading double lives -- many of the older ones -- even my wife -- daydream in meetings - so no we were not different IMHO
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  gitasatsangha

  I was a major daydreamer in the meetings. I hated meetings. I had a Kingdom Ministry of every possible color so I could pretend to read along on Thursday nights, because I typically lost my KM before I ever had a chance to bring it. I liked doing microphones so I could leer at the spiritual sisters.

  My parents were never abusive.

  I led a double-life. I think everyone but the true wierdos did.

  I wasn't in a clique, but they did exist. So strange to live in a small isolated village called a congregation, but people couldnt get along. Anyway there wasn't too much back biting on me. I doubt most people really knew anything about me, apart from knowing I was there.

  Strangely enough I never purposefully faked a time report. For some reason I was pretty damned accurate about that up until the time I stopped going out. g
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  Fe2O3Girl

  Most of us spent many years as a jw, and became very accomplished at faking reports, not paying attention when we were supposed to, hiding a lot of things from other people, including the ones we love, etc. When you stop being a jw you can't just flick a switch and stop doing things, how hard is it to change these habits and be different to what we were?

  Gadget, I am still struggling with the traits you describe. At least I know I have the problem, which helps to avoid the behaviour. Good point.
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  Satans little helper

  it took me a long time to get over the small minded judgementalism but I still am pretty good at saying what people want to hear and covering up what's really going on inside
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  Nosferatu

  I am guilty, and a victim of all the above. Rarely did I fake my FS reports. I only did it when the PO would call and ask for my hours and I actually hadn't gone on service all month. I just made up for the time I spend in the FS before I became an unbaptized publisher. I daydreamed all the time, I lead a double life, I recieved the lack of love, gossip, and had an abusive parent. I was an outcast from the rest of the JWs. I was never invited to get-togethers. I only went if my mother was invited. I think a lot of that had to do with me not being baptized.

  I'm a completely different person from my JW days. I no longer have the need to daydream, fake my times, or lead a double life. I can actually be ME.
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  Hapgood

  I was guilty of day-dreaming at meetings. I really did try to pay attention but I would eventually drift off. I was (still am) really good at that, I would just zone out and be somewhere else in my mind. I'm sure I probably looked like I was paying attention (well maybe I looked more like a zombie). The funny thing is, that now I'm out when I go to the Assemblies with my hubby (don't go to the meetings anymore), I pay attention and actually listen to what is being said, it's very shocking. Since my hubby will not discuss "spiritual" things with me anymore, I told him to please just listen and think about what is being said at the meetings. He usually naps at the meetings and Assembles. I think that the next time he drags me to an Assembly I will take some notes so I can share with him all the fine spiritual food that he missed while sleeping :-)

  I never faked my field service report. I always felt like I was stealing from Jehovah if I didn't turn in an accurate report. If anything, if I was in doubt about my time I would put less time on my report. That's probably why I didn't have much time when I would turn in my field service report. I wasn't creative enough in counting my time.

  Hapgood
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  Nocturne

  I occasionally faked field service report, usually because I forgot how much time I actually spent. I day-dreamed alot at meetings, I still do. I lead a double life to a certain extent, but I never went to far with it. I never was part of the "in" crowd of JWs, so I didn't get to go to many parties, and other stuff.

  I believe people at the kingdom hall are all the same as those who have left. When I first started doing my research, and lurking on this board, I asked myself the same question, but now I've come to realize that most people at the kingdom hall are guilty of one of the things you've listed. Some are just better than others at hiding it.