Were we different?

Fe2O3Girl

When we reminisce about our lives as JWs, we keep coming back to some themes. It seems like most of us have had some or all of these experiences:

Faking field service time reports

Day-dreaming in meetings

Leading a double life

Victim of cliques, lack of love, back-biting, gossip or false accusations

Abusive parenting

I fell into the double life category, and it never occurred to me that the other stuff happened until I met other XJWs. My question is:

Are we different to the JWs who are still in? Are they all sat in the service meeting day-dreaming and making up their hours? Are we out because we were like that, or are they all the same as we were?

I bet the majority have a double life to some extent or another. What do you think about the other stuff?

Satans little helper

we are the same.

People are still flooding out for the same reasons and kids brought up as witnesses still don't stay.

My sister has just left home due to abusive parenting and my step brother will no doubt leave within 2 years. 13 years have passed since I have left and nothing has changed

Englishman

Day-dreaming in meetings

Guilty as charged. I always loathed meetings and field service. I just pretended to enjoy them.

I was one of those people who wandered around at conventions. I eventually manged to get hold of one of those attendant labels, but then people started to ask me for directions to places, so I didn't bother after that.

Englishman.

Sirona

I think that 90% of JWs fall into at least one of those categories, the rest are barking mad or brand new to the religion.

I definately day-dreamed - in fact I thought of any way possible to keep occupied during the horrendous hour of the Watchtower. I faked field service reports aswell, but usually it was only maybe 1 hour extra... As far as double life, not that much, except for the odd night on the town.

Is that why we are out...because we were the bad sheep who lived double lives? No. We are out because we are strong enough to get out and stay out. That is my honest opinion. I think that there are some ExJWs who want to go back to the JWs and feel unable to, but only because they've not discovered the truth about it. Those of us who know the real truth are the ones who were strong enough to make a stand and that was a very difficult thing to do especially at first.

Sirona

LOL sorry, I just noticed I used a phrase "bad sheep"....where the heck did that come from. I think I meant black sheep....

Sirona

Oxnard Hamster

I agree with Sirona. I think a lot of JWs fall into at least one, probably more, of those categories. After all, we are only human. Those of us who have left had the courage to stand up for our own convictions. However, I believe there are lots of JWs, especially young ones, who want to leave but are trapped for one reason or another.

Brummie

I'm guilty of some of those. Strangely enough it never once occured to me that I could fake my field service hours...durrr, wish it had done so, would have saved all that struggling. The only one time I faked my hours was during the time I was leaving and didnt put in my report, then an elder grabbed me by the arm and ordered I put my hours report in, so I did. I put 1 hour, 1 mag, i bible study, 1 magazine. In reality I had done quite a lot more but you shoulda seen his face.

Brummie

Maverick

On another thread I metioned the active JW's being "actors". They "play" the roll. In acting they call it "The Method". Their motivation is a combination of guilt and fear...WTS induced, and selfishness...hoping to make it to the security of the "New System. Much like a worker putting in his/her time on a job they don't really like to get their retirement pension. That's why many don't have a problem with shunning...they got theirs! Maverick

Gadget

When I was splitting up with my girlfriend one of the things she always said to me was that I had changed since I stopped attending meetings, and reading this I'm starting to think that she might be right.

Faking field service time reports
Day-dreaming in meetings
Leading a double life
Victim of cliques, lack of love, back-biting, gossip or false accusations
Abusive parenting

What I'm thinking about is, are we different now? Most of us spent many years as a jw, and became very accomplished at faking reports, not paying attention when we were supposed to, hiding a lot of things from other people, including the ones we love, etc. When you stop being a jw you can't just flick a switch and stop doing things, how hard is it to change these habits and be different to what we were?

reboot

What I'm thinking about is, are we different now? Most of us spent many years as a jw, and became very accomplished at faking reports, not paying attention when we were supposed to, hiding a lot of things from other people, including the ones we love, etc. When you stop being a jw you can't just flick a switch and stop doing things, how hard is it to change these habits and be different to what we were?

I don't think it's really hard Gadget; people change gradually over time, as a natural consequence of leaving and from challenging what they thought was right.Perhaps were more mature when were 'out'?

We listen to others now and make up our own mind about life choices.I'm still basically the same person- I but I do think more deeply as there's noone to tell me what I should be thinking,

Were we different?

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