May you have peace!
Perhaps this should go under "Personal Experiences"... ah, well.
For me, it started the summer of 1993 when, at the District Convention, the speaker (who four years later became my PO) gave a talk during which the outline had the separation of the sheep and the goats BEFORE the 'great tribulation'. As the words came from his mouth, I heard a 'voice' inside me say, "No, he is wrong; read it again." And I reread Matthew 24 and realized that indeed the sequence was wrong. I then heard the 'voice' say that I had to TELL the speaker of the error... immediately... for millions were being misled by it. I did not know at the time what... or rather WHO... the 'voice' was.
After juggling with my husband over the issue (he did NOT want me to say anything), I went and searched out the speaker and told him what I heard. He said, "Well, that's what the outline said, and I read it straight from the outline." He did not call me an 'apostate'. In fact, he later confessed to me that it didn't make sense to him either, and that was why he had to read it directly, because no matter how hard he tried to put it into his own words, he was tongue-tied and couldn't speak.
I didn't mind him not agreeing with me at the time, for I thought, "Well, the rest of the 'body' just haven't 'heard' yet, but they will catch up." Fat chance. Eventually, I 'heard' another 'truth'... that the 'generations of 1914' was an incorrect teaching, and in the Fall of 1993, I wrote to the Society and set forth all that I had 'heard'... and the supporting scriptures and verses. I even included a chart of such verses.
And I heard absolutely NOTHING.
Then, in February 1994, there was this 'new light'... 'adjusting' the understanding of the generation of 1914. Okay, so a coincidence.
And for about a YEAR, I heard nothing. But in April of 1995, I received a letter from the Society regarding MY letter and apologizing for not having a response. They stated, and I quote: "We ask that you be patient; perhaps something on this issue may be forthcoming." Not knowing what THAT meant, I let the matter drop... and 'waited' on 'Jehovah'.
Then out came the October 1995 Watchtower... with MY chart set on a page with a flock of sheep in the background! The former convention speaker, who was now my PO, asked me if I had seen the magazine (of course, I had - I ALWAYS read and studied them as soon as they came in the mail - what a 'good' little 'anal' JW chick, I was...) and if he could read ALL of my letters to the Society, which I gave him, and which took him 2 weeks to return. When he did, he said, 'That was interesting'.
I kept writing about issues... and kept 'waiting on Jehovah'. I thought, surely the REST of the body have gotten these things, too, or will soon.
Then, in February 1997, that same voice told me NOT to write this time, but to go to Brooklyn personally. And I did. Called to get an airline ticket one day ($1,300 R/T), couldn't afford THAT, saw a tiny ad in the paper the next day ($208 R/T), and three days within 'hearing'... was sitting at a Bethel dining table.
And after lunch (now THAT was an 'experience' - tables and tables of food... even when no one is sitting there!) the sister that accompanied me, and I, met with Carey Barber. And I KNEW... from that moment on... and he KNEW I knew... that they were imposters. I KNEW that he was NOT a member of the Body of Christ, and he KNEW I knew... and he knew I was... and that I knew he knew.
And dear ones, let me tell you... they are VERY aware of many of the false teachings, for my Lord let me know when I went that I had not been the first one sent to them, but they had ignored all others before me... and would ignore me. But I was STILL obligated to go... and warn them, or I would be held responsible for their blood.
Ezekiel 3:17-21
In addition, Carey Barber stated to me... PERSONALLY... and to the sister with me... that, and I QUOTE: "the Governing Body hasn't had anything to do with the Watchtower since 1972." If it's a lie, dear ones, he told it. He then told us that we could watch the first WTBTS video tape, and it would tell us how they compiled the magazines, that they had nothing to hide and had revealed this all along. And indeed, dear ones, it does: there are file rooms, with logged articles, research and writings, and the publications are derived from these, by NON-ANOINTED men, who simply search the files and 'cut and paste'. That is WHY the information goes back and forth: this year, the publications said this, ten years later it said that, 30 years later someone found the FIRST writing and republished IT... and so and so on. Re-review your video cassette. Pay attention to the narrator when you get to the part about the file room.
After that, things changes rapidly. I continued eating and drinking. I continued 'hearing', until finally, my Lord identified himself TO me. I would ask him questions; he would answer them. He would tell me to speak certain things, and I would go to my 'elders' and speak. I had 14 judicial meetings (6 OFFICIAL ones) meetings, and was eventually df'd for, well, they SAID refusing to meet one more time (I had nothing else to share with them!), but the 'word on the street' is that I am an apostate.
An-y-way... I never actually 'doubted'. Never really went from believing to doubting. I simply went from believing in their lies... to knowing that they were lies. Doubt denotes not being sure. I went from being sure that they had truth, to being ABSOLUTELY sure... that they didn't. Heck, they don't even know what TRUTH is... or rather WHO he is, based simply upon THEIR assumption that the truth is 'the information contained in God's Holy Word, the Bible.'
The Truth, dear ones... AND God's Holy Word... is my Lord, His Son and Christ, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH. (John 1:1, 14; John 14:6; John 8:32, 36). Pure... and simple. Truthfully.
I bid you all peace!
A slave of Christ, who has been 'set free' from the traditions and doctrines of 'earthling' MEN...
SJ