I'm considering putting off my leaving

by paradiseseeker 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • paradiseseeker

    Hi, there!

    I just wanted to share with you the thoughts that I've had lately.

    My plan was to get a job, become independent and then leaving the Org throughout this year 2018. I'm going to achieve the first step in a matter of weeks, the second one soon afterwards but maybe I will wait a little longer for the last one.

    One year ago a friend of mine was reinstated. We weren't very close friends back then, although we got along well. But, since no many JWs in my town want to hang out with him (because of his being a former disfellowshipped), we started to talk and go out more often and in a matter of half a year we've become very close friends, like brothers. The thing is... I don't want to leave him alone now.... not yet. And of course, my previous close friends are still there too.

    I know that I shouldn't place others' happiness before mine, but I just can't do it otherwise. In fact, with this friend I'm experiencing some kind of "transition" because from time to time we watch horror movies (we even went to watch "The Nun" last week, lol), we get drunk and go to other cities where we go to parties with other edgy JWs. Because of that, I don't feel the urge to leave the org as much as I did in the past, because I'm already experiencing some "worldly" freedom and I'm feeling quite fine now.

    Before you ask, no, this friend of mine is not a PIMO. In many senses he is, but I know he believes this is "The Truth". I think it's possible that he keep contact with me after I leave.

    To sum up, I think that I will wait until I get my job, my own house and have some time to enjoy my financial independence with this and other friends. That means that I will probably wait until... summer 2019, I don't know.

    Let me know your thoughts about it. I know that some of the reasons may sound lame but I wanted to verbalize them anyway.

    Thank you for reading this post.

  • Freedom rocks
    Freedom rocks

    All I'm going to say is do what makes YOU happy!!

  • ttdtt

    Just know that it gets Harder to leave the longer you stay.

    And it gets Harder to build a normal life the longer you wait to get out.

  • dubstepped

    All the things you're doing with this conditional friend are things you could do outside in freedom without the strings attached.

    I would ask if you're using the friend to avoid taking a step you're not really ready for. If that's the case, that's cool, but just own whatever the real reasons are for things and live the most authentic life you can.

    If the only reason you have to leave is lack of "worldly" behavior, you may need to stay in because there are many reasons to leave other than behavioral ones. You're young, nothing is on fire, but be true to you and only you know what that truly looks like. You owe us nothing.

  • stillMS

    Thanks for sharing, paradiseseeker!

    You're in no way obliged to make any move like leaving the borg officially. It depends on many things.

    My only advice would be to avoid attracting others to the borg (it's anyway hard these days - but who knows...) to save'em from potential harm, and to avoid starting romantic relations with PIMI girls - but I suppose you know that yourself (looks like you've got thing planned very well).

    Good luck and keep us posted!

  • DesirousOfChange

    Do what's good for YOU!

    If playing along and "faking it" for a bit seems like a better scenario, go ahead, USE THEM to your advantage. The WT/JWs have been USING YOU for as long as you've been there.

    My best PIMO friend plays along to maintain peace with his wife. He attends most Sundays, very few mid-weeks, 2 hours token Field Circus per month (mostly at Starbucks) and kinda plays the "crazy card" if questioned about anything.That's what works for him.

    For me, I found out that I CANNOT FAKE IT.Too much anger. Too much resentment. Too much disgust. Simply can't smile and "hide" my feelings.

    To summarize, see Sentence #1.

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    hey Paradiseseeker ( fat chance ..lol)....youre just the kind of young dub we need in the kingdumb hall. you--and your mates. partying---boozing---what else do you get up to ? ( nothing i didnt get up to ! )

    priveleges ? pioneering ? servants ?....err--no.

    keep up the good work.

  • OnTheWayOut

    All are free to do as they see fit. It's really a matter of what you can stand that will guide you.

    I lingered for years within the organization, but I wasn't convinced it wasn't the truth. Once I knew what I needed to know for sure, that it wasn't the truth, I was completely physically out within 9 months. But in my case, I just couldn't waste time in that organization and I didn't care to hold on to local "friends." I did feel bad that I lost my best friend (who lived 500 miles from me) over this, but I had hoped better from him before that happened.

  • Finkelstein

    Paradiseseeker comes off like a apathetic insincere person who playing with other people who are JWS just for the friendship, avoiding the fact that the WTS/JWS is a corrupt commercialized religious cult that has killed thousands and broken part millions of families.

    Perhaps he will find some personal integrity as he matures.

  • Incognito
    I don't want to leave him alone now.

    If you left the org, would you be leaving him or would HE leave you? Would he consider your feelings?

    You do understand, a relationship with a JW is usually made conditional by the JW, not necessarily by the one that leaves?

    If it were the other way around so you were recently reinstated but he wants to leave, would you abandon him just because he no longer wants to be a JW?

    That means that I will probably wait until... summer 2019

    Or maybe 2020 or 2025 or ...

    There will never be an ideal time. Something will often arise to cause a person to doubt, reconsider and postpone.

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