Striking Out On My Own

Saethydd

Those of you who know my story are aware that I'm currently disfellowshipped and living with my parents. Up until now, my plan has been to be reinstated and then fade, but recently my plans have changed. In a conversation with my mother a few days ago and she made it clear that she would not be okay with me getting reinstated with the purpose of going inactive. (What she believes my cousin has done.)

So I decided that instead of getting reinstated I'm just going to move out at the end of my Summer semester because as far as I can tell the end result is going to be the same, staying and getting reinstated only means that I'll have to attend more of these insufferable meetings and be dishonest longer, which I hate. I'm going to prepare letters explaining my choice to all of my family members and close friends, in the letters I'll include an open invitation for them to resume contact with me anytime they wish, perhaps one of them secretly harbors doubts and will take me up on it. Maybe I'll even spark curiosity enough among some of them to get them started on leaving the Org too.

It took me all of two days to find someone among my "worldly" friends who was willing and able to rent me a room at a great deal starting in the Fall. They even said not to worry too much about the rent and just pay whatever I was comfortable with. So I think I'm set for my exit from this cult, I've quite a few friends that will be able to help me out and provide social support, and when the time comes I'll line up a job to help me finish my next few years in college. (working for my dad atm, I have a feeling that will have to change when I leave though.)

I just wanted to share my experience with you guys, visiting this forum has been a big help to me in making this decision. I also wanted to see if anybody had recommendations that might improve my plan.

ducatijoe

Bravo! "Worldly" friends are true friends. They got me through the hardest time I will ever face.

Spiral

Awesome! "Living well (or just better) is the best revenge!"

Really, you'll be okay! I know of several who have done the reinstatement/fade/play the game, and it's taken a huge toll on them emotionally. I am sure you will have some tough times, but I do feel you'll think it was worth it in the end. And remember, unlike what you may have been told while in the JWs, everyone experiences tough times. It's how you keep working and living that matters.

Congratulations on being an adult, in control of your life.

Finkelstein

So I think I'm set for my exit from this cult

Congratulations Saethydd now keep your chin up and your nose clean, there is both good and bad out in the world.

exjwlemming

Good for you! You made a great decision. Best wishes. Live well and never look back.

Simon

I'm going to prepare letters explaining my choice to all of my family members and close friends

Why? What explanation do you think you owe them? They will possibly use it to cause you hassle.

I suggest not putting anything in writing, just leave and if asked deny and deflect.

Cold Steel

That may be counter productive.

If you send those letters, the people you send them to may simply see it as confirmation that you're an apostate. Such letters may sound one way to you and completely different to someone else, and you may say things you'll later regret.

If you're reinstated, that will remove the stigma of excommunication (and allow people to communicate with you), but it sounds as though your mom's on to you.

You may just want to consider a clean break. The greatest weakness of the JW movement is that it claims to represent God, yet there is not a single instance of God communicating anything to the Society, one way or the other. They quote Matthew 24 about the faithful and discreet slave who, when the Lord comes, will find him distributing spiritual food to the Lord's household. So they appointed themselves the Lord's faithful slave. But since the Lord allegedly came in 1914, technically this servant's duties should have already been fulfilled.

The Lord stated that when He returns, He will reject self-appointed servants, saying, "I never knew you!" And He gave the parable of the blind guides leading the blind, an obvious reference to false teachers leading foolish followers, neither of which receive revelation from God.

Your best bet might be just making a clean break. Staying in it will destroy you emotionally and spiritually.

Saethydd

Why? What explanation do you think you owe them? They will possibly use it to cause you hassle.
I suggest not putting anything in writing, just leave and if asked deny and deflect.

Because I have no reason to deny and deflect, I'm already disfellowshipped, which means that anybody who would shun me is going to anyway. By explaining my reasons to my family maybe I'll get through to at least one of them, or perhaps discover that one of them wants to leave too but they have been afraid to do so. Honestly, I would prefer to take a stand than to quietly slip away, if I'm gonna be damned anyway I may as well be damned for what I really am.

Saethydd

You may just want to consider a clean break.

My plan is basically a clean break from the organization, but if possible I want to leave my hand extended towards anyone else I care about who wants to escape from this group too. At least that way if nobody will take it, I can at least rest easy knowing that I tried.

Cold Steel

Saethydd » if I'm gonna be damned anyway I may as well be damned for what I really am.

That's one of the issues. Why would you feel in any way under condemnation when The Truth is not the truth, but a sham that rests on a bunch of self-appointed shysters making claims they can't possibly sustain? The ancient church had bishops, priests, elders, deacons, teachers, seventy and evangelists. And the apostles were called and ordained by Christ. "For yew have not chosen me, but I have chosen you and ordained you." The JWs have put it's Governing Body in a position where they have chosen Jesus, but Jesus has not chosen them or ordained them.

The WTBTS bears no resemblance to the ancient church, and they have chosen themselves and are thus a manmade church. You have nothing to apologize for and they have no power to bind or loose (disfellowship). You are thus under no condemnation. So please stop thinking like that.

If you go to the internet and research Armageddon (forgetting everything you think you know about it), you'll discover it's far different in the Bible than what the JWs teach.

I hope you can find others you can bring out.

Striking Out On My Own

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