Some years ago, I attended a JW wedding. Marriage speaker said something which changed my life for the better, and it helps me even now. He told the couple: “The very make up of man and woman is such that conflicts can often arise between you. There will be many things that would unfold which would make you angry at each other. If you channelize this energy called anger on the person with whom you are angry, then you are abusing it. If you channelize it on the problem with a view to finding a solution, then you are using anger rightly because it acts like a catalyst to reach a solution. For example, when you choose to watch your favorite TV show, your spouse wants to change the channel to his favorite TV show. When this is repeated many times, it can make you angry. Now turn this anger to buying one more TV which means the end of anger on this subject. Hence anger is like a knife—you can use it beneficially or harmfully. So are all other emotions! They are all energy in motion.
You are quick to find excuses for the wrong you committed and you have found it often works to neutralize your behavior to some extent. That means there are excuses for behavior—no matter who performs it. When you are wronged, be quick to find excuses for the behavior of the other person who often acts under the influence of many factors and forces. Just like great events and great leaders are offspring of their time and circumstances every action/reaction (of your spouse) is also the offspring of the time and circumstance—even though you may seem to be the immediate object of an action/reaction. When you reason like this you will begin to find space around your problem which will gradually become too small to be reckoned with.”
Though most of the JW teaching seemed unsound and irrational, points in this marriage talk were amazing which helps me even now in all avenues of my life. [I don’t know all JW marriage speakers use the illustration and explanation because this was the only one I attended]