What do you mean you can relate? Where you a little nose monkey at one time? That would explain a lot. You're a goof.
Nose monkey? No. Here is what I can relate to:
In the mid eighties there wasn't easy access to any exJW's to ask questions and help me through a very difficult transition in my life.
Granted, it wasn't the mid-eighties for me but, I had no support system whatsoever for what I was going through. I went through it utterly alone. The internet was still new in the early nineties and I had a dislike of computers because I saw people spending too much time online and not (in my opinion) reading books. I don't really look down of people who don't read books, I just have a very deep love of reading. It was a tad upsetting to see technology usurping real book knowledge. I've overcome that obviously. I've come to realize what a great tool of information the internet is.
It's an incredible shock to your psychological well being to come to the realization that everything you once believed about the history of the earth and mankind was as valid and historically factual as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Yes it is! It's still rather fresh for me.
Not only do you loose your basic belief structure you eventually realize you need to someday face up to the fact that you're going to take your last breath on this earth
Yes! After spending your entire life believing that you are going to live forever and, not only that, never taste death, to come to terms with your own mortality is frightening! It's a hard thing to accept as an adult.
I also had to deal with possibility of never seeing my Mom or family again and coming to the realization that I have become a grave disappointment to them.
I was told many times by my family that they were disappointed in me. Perhaps it was because I was the only grandchild who got baptized and and pioneered. I don't know. I looked up to and adored my grandfather. I was always his favorite grandchild. To disappoint him and to have him say it to others humilated me. I was so hurt! I'm fortunate that my mother and father don't ignore or shun me. I very rarely even log into my msn messenger because my mom is always there bugging me...LOL! I'm somewhat lucky I suppose.
I had grown up very closed minded and my perspective on life was narrow and tainted.
Me too. I think most of us "raised in it" were.
I started to become very angry and for a while I wanted to do what I had always been told was wrong.
Yep!
I began a journey of social rebellion and self destruction. I began to simply not care about myself or anyone else, I just wanted all the questions and the confusion in my head to go away.
I understand completely.
I began to drink heavily to make my thoughts and feelings drown in a puddle of muddy indifference
Yep!
My drinking began to include sporadic infusions of coke and pot.
Change "coke and pot" to "sex, pot, and acid" and that's where I was.
For a while I seriously thought of permanently tattooing the word "stupid" across my forehead.
The word "loser" was what I had in mind for myself.
I didn't go through any kind of drastic, physical illness and I never did any "hard" drugs. I was a single mom by that point and I didn't have anyone to turn to so neither were and option. What I can relate to Dave is the way you were feeling. I think it's similar for a lot of us.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that down.
~Aztec
