Faded for almost 10 years and still getting random calls

by ctrwtf 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • ctrwtf

    Hi all, just wondering if anyone is in the same boat. Wifey and I dropped off the face of the JW planet almost a decade ago and still get 3 or 4 visits a year mostly when we are not dressed or expecting visitors. It's really annoying because we are both wondering why they don't get the hint already.

    We don't want to move because we really enjoy where we live and both have careers that keep us in the area.

    I've asked politely that they stop calling but like the "Godfather" they keep "pulling me in."

    I guess you could use our experience as an example of the dubs tenacity, but I seem to remember the elders' book counseling the bros to lay off at a certain point. It's just surreal that in the 21st century we have to put up with this BS.

    Any thoughts or advice are welcome....

  • Iamallcool
    What about writing a disassocation letter? They will finally leave you alone!
  • jp1692

    We don't want to move because ...

    Why would you even say that?

    Probably you’re too polite. I get that. If you REALLY want them to stop coming by, next time they do be explicit and clear. Tell them to get the clue and leave you alone.

    You could always write a letter to the BOE and tell them to mark you as a “Do Not Call.”

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon
    Christmas is just around the corner and if you really want to get rid of them, put up a christmas tree and they will figure you folks went over to the dark side. And if they drop by give them a candy cane and wish them a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year....Or you can tell them it's BS and you will not have to put up with their BS.....Good luck!!!!
  • LongHairGal


    In my opinion, they call on people they want back there. Others they don't care about.

    From what I gather, both you and your wife were in. A married couple is a desirable thing in the Witness religion. They don't want single women for sure (unless they do favors for all the users). A single brother is somewhat more desirable especially if he's smart. When you were in the religion, did you entertain or do anything for them in the way of favors (fixing things, etc.)? They hate to lose an asset like that.

    There is no need to do anything as drastic as moving away. However, the requests you made for them to not call: was the tone too polite maybe? Are you hesitant about being rude because one or both of you have family in somewhere?

    You are going to have to be more forceful and tell them they are being annoying by calling and to stop and that you will not talk to them again.

  • jp1692

    It’s odd, I was an elder for over two decades and quit going and NO ONE EVER COMES BY.

    I’m technically still “in good standing” and have lived in the same place the last seven years.

    Why do they bug you and leave me alone? Who knows!

    But a likely reason is this: the last time an elder contacted me he said “the brothers” wanted to setup a “shepherding” call on me since I stopped attending.

    I said, “No thanks, but I do have a favor to ask you. Would you and the brothers set up a meeting to help me and [a family member that started shunning me when I quit attending the meetings] reconcile?”

    He said he’d have to ask “the brothers” and would get back to me. That was several years ago.

    I’m still waiting ...

  • Cold Steel
    Cold Steel

    The trick is to not let them in. If you're getting ready to go somewhere, excuse yourselves. Most likely like many good people, you don't want to offend them, even if they are JWs. If you know it's them at the door, don't invite them in. "Hey, guys, this isn't a good time. We're out now and we've requested these visits stop. I don't want to be ungracious or rude, but we've talked this over and there's nothing to say. Please tell the Grand Poobah that we've chosen to take another path and that we're not interested in being handled."

    It's up to you whether you choose to share your reasons...or not. Their goal is to come inside, sit down and talk things over. Whether you want to do this, again, is your choice. If not, don't let them in and if you have to, thank them and close the door.

  • silentbuddha

    Tell them u r no longer one of jehobro’s widnesses

  • jp1692

    There’s always the nuclear option. Just tell them to get off your fucking porch as you slowly walk towards them in an implicitly menacing fashion. (But don’t say anything explicitly threatening).

    Then watch them shit their pants and run away with their tails between their wobbly legs.

    Again, do NOT lose control or say anything explicitly threatening. Three times people lost their shit on me when I was a JW and I turned around as I was leaving and shut them down. I even called the police on one of them. They blew it with the explicit threat. (Probably they’d been fucked over by this cult, who knows. They were so angry they couldn’t even talk.)

    But if anyone would have down what I advised above even I would have left post haste.

    Intimidate but never threaten. Never.

  • jookbeard

    I would inform them in no uncertain terms to cease making any contact in any form whatsoever or you will inform the authorities

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