Trigger Words.. Help

by Sassy 25 Replies latest members private

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  Sassy

  Morty, I don't know how I missed your post the last time I replied in this thread. You sent me a pm and mentioned writing in it but I hadn't seen it. you are a dear person and thank you for your words and also the reminder of all the good things in my life. You are right, I have many good things to be focusing on...

  I have to admit I really found the angle for me to deal with this well in Mulan's post. One of the things that came to me full force like walking into plate glass, reality trigger words like 'real life' this is it.. or Sixes 'reality'.. what we have is what we get the here and now. THIS life right now is our REALITY.. when I remind myself of that, somehow it is like it puts out all the punch in the words everlasting life.. as if you let the air put of the balloon so to speak. For me that helped a lot..

  I got a kick out of Xena's JW Hell too.. life sure was that as a JW.. I guess the thing is not that I was feeling like I was sad about maybe there not being an everlasting life as much as those words just triggered anxiety in me because I wasn't a JW any more.. not because I wanted to be or because I believe in those beliefs of JWs. I dont' even know why it hit me so hard.. that was why it was so frustrating..

  Blueblades, I am working on dealing with the things I have now. the things I know. It does help.. and being busy helps too.. you are right about that..

  DanTheMan... Peace and Security would probably trigger stuff too.. my mom was actually saying stuff about that in earlier emails. Talking about things happening in the news and showing how soon they will say peace and security.. those emails didn't upset me as much even though I didnt' reply to them. Not sure why this one with the above words bothered me more.. or maybe it was just the timing.

  SAHS, I can relate to what you said.. although I know that no one obligate us to be intimidated, I think this cult brainwashed us so that we might react sometimes in ways we didn't exect to.. at least that is how this was for me. i've been rolling along fine with it and then my reaction to those words/ which yes, you could stay they intimidated me.. I almost felt beaten down.. I think it came from that brainwashing.. it's like a hypnotist when they say everytime someone says 'clock' you will bark like a dog..
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  topanga

  go through as much of the bible as you can with nothing but the footnotes. Follow the footnotes use a notebook to write the connections. There you will find absolute proof that you were in the wrong religion, and that they are totally false . Absolute proof, all of your nagging doubts, what if moments and bad dreams will stop when you are sure and you have proof and can quiet your mind. You will have peace. You will also find an entirely different story from hat wt teaches.

  Pleasant dreams!
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  alias

  Sassy,

  I can relate to the "wanting to be deprogrammed" desire. When I first stopped my JW activities, I was also seeing a grief counselor for other issues and wished that my mind (and heart) could have been erased. Believe me, there were many times that I wished some former JWs would kidnap me and put me through the tied-to-a-chair deprogramming thing, but I now I know emotional trauma is not the best solution for these things (although the fantasy was kind of fun <grin>). We often discussed my JW issues, but I knew my therapist just didn't have the foundation of understanding the JW world to help me through it the way I needed. That frustrated me, because it was then that I realized the work to be done needed to be my own, and not from what someone told me.

  Almost eight years later, I can see how time has helped put things into perspective for me. The "trigger" words mostly phase me in a new way, one that helps me understand the mindset and thinking patterns of active JWs. Thus retaining everything and working through it on my own terms only broadened my worldview and expanded my ability for compassion and understanding in others who are lost and trying to find some stable ground for themselves.

  I am still affected by certain trigger words, and fall easy into the whole JW world when talking with friends. It's a strong, emotional bond intertwined with who I am. 25 years of the stuff can't just be forgotten. Heck, there are people around here who have been out for longer than that but still fill a need by associating with others with the common background.

  What we think is a burden now may actually help us later on.

  Take it a day at a time. You'll work it out, especially if you pay attention to your needs and take care of yourself.

  (((hugs)))

  alias :)
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  rem

  Ahh shoot, I thought this was a thread about Tiger Woods. My bad.
  
  rem
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  Double Edge

  so what do you replace Everlasting Life with?

  You might know I'm one of the few "never been a dub" on the board, so my perspective is a little different, in that I don't bring the JW experience with it. However, one thing that is universal is the fact that your mother is doing her "mother thing" in looking after your welfare, even if her rational is flawed. She can't help it.... she's your mom and you'll always be her 'baby'. Her opinions are probably locked in stoned (as most of our mother's are), so there's no changing that, however, what you can change is the way you deal with it. Most people on this board have discovered that "reality" is far more that the narrowmindedness of some religions. It's a big undiscovered world out there, not limited to some of the restrictions placed on it by some men. I'm not going to get into a religious discussion, but just to say I am a believer in a Higher Power, and that life is indeed eternal - for EVERYONE. There are countless non-religious people who believe the same and there seems to be more facts that bear this out to be true. So the statement of "don't miss out on eternal life" is powerless and given by one with limited knowledge, and seemingly a knowledge based more on fear than anything else. Maybe you should let your mom know that you don't intend to miss out on eternal life and that you are presently on your journey of exploration. just my 2 cents.
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  one_ugly_time

  Sassy -

  I can relate all too well with this topic. To start off, I have replaced "The Truth" and all other contexts to "A Cult"... I have done enough research and reflection to believe in my mind that it is a Cult, so, I call it the way I see it.

  For the past year or so, I have been reviewing trigger words and situations in an attempt to reframe the past with concepts that I believe today. I have found this board invaluable for this type of work, precisely because the trigger words are used so frequently. It has had a desensitizing effect by translating passages, as one might translate a foreign language, when reading.

  I am still struggling with some of the deeper triggers such as "allowing myself to play" which requires letting go of the super ego (ie perfectionism) that says I will live virtuous life (ie everlasting life)... So, my translation requires me to now define my need/desire for a virtuous life in the first place.

  ugly