Letter to elders when marriage mate confess adultery

by scrubmaster 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • scrubmaster
    scrubmaster

    Okay everyone, I need some help. I understand from talking to some one who had some knowledge of the situation but could not find the reference material , that the society has something in writing which says if a person believes they are scripturally free and that they are willing to stand before Jehovah and face the consquences they can get married -- (this in effect leave the elders out of the equation and they can not do anything to you.) Does anyone know where this reference can be found -- I need it as soon as possible. I can not find it. Thanks for your help. I posted this earlier on the board, but it did not end up on the first page.

  • blondie
    blondie

    WT 10/1/1977 pp. 607-608 Questions from Readers

    My unbelieving husband admitted to me that he has another woman. Is his admission sufficient ground for a Scriptural divorce?

    In some cases if a Christian?s unbelieving mate admits to committing immorality, that would provide a Scriptural basis for a divorce, which, in turn, would free the innocent Christian for remarriage if desired.

    Jehovah God?s law to the ancient nation of Israel made provision for divorce on various grounds. (Deut. 24:1, 2) Adultery, homosexuality and bestiality were bases for ending a marriage; the guilty person was to be executed. (Deut. 22:22-24; Lev. 18:22, 23) However, the Law set forth this important requirement: "At the mouth of two witnesses or of three witnesses the one dying should be put to death. He will not be put to death at the mouth of one witness." (Deut. 17:6; 19:15; Num. 35:30) Being a "lover of righteousness and justice," Jehovah required that such matters be determined on the basis of proof, of witnesses, not merely suspicion. (Ps. 33:5) This, of course, was stated as regards applying the death penalty, not as regards a divorce action.

    Another situation dealt with in the Law also illustrates the importance of proof. What was a man to do if he suspected that his wife had committed adultery but she denied it and there were no witnesses? God?s law outlined a step that could be taken, but it was a drastic one that could have lasting effects for the wife if she was guilty or for the husband if she was innocent. She could be brought before the priest and made to share in a prescribed procedure involving drinking some special water. If she was guilty, she would experience the divine punishment of her ?thigh falling away,? apparently meaning that her sexual parts would atrophy and she would lose her ability to conceive. (Num. 5:12-31) Evidently in such cases the adulterous wife, though receiving this extraordinary punishment from God, because she denied guilt and there were not the required two witnesses, was not executed.

    What is the situation today in the Christian congregation? Is it possible to obtain substantial testimony as to the grounds for a Scriptural divorce?

    Jesus himself stated that for his followers the only ground for divorce, such as would free a person for remarriage, is if one?s mate commits porneia, gross sexual immorality. (Matt. 19:9) Would there be sufficient ground for divorce if a Christian wife merely suspected that her husband was guilty of adultery? No, for the Christian Greek Scriptures carry forward the principle of a matter?s being established by two or three witnesses, as a balanced sense of justice requires. (John 8:17, 18; 1 Tim. 5:19; Heb. 10:28) So, if a wife merely suspected her husband of adultery, but he denied it and there were no witnesses to confirm it, she would not have sufficient basis for establishing with the Christian congregation that she had a right to divorce him and thus be free to remarry.

    In some cases, though, an unbelieving mate admits to being immoral. A husband, for instance, might even boast of it to his wife as a taunt to hurt her. She might choose to overlook his waywardness. But what if she feels she cannot or should not? Is his confession enough proof?

    In this situation it is not as if he professes innocence or adamantly denies being guilty of adultery. Rather, he admits it to her, though for the sake of his reputation he might not be willing to own up to it in a court of law or before other persons. What can the wife do?

    Since she is part of the clean Christian congregation, she should realize the importance of handling the matter properly so that, after divorcing him, if she later remarried there would be no question about her keeping ?the marriage bed without defilement.? (Heb. 13:4) To that end she could give the elders representing the congregation a letter outlining her situation, stating that her unbelieving husband confessed to her that he had committed immorality. And she could state that in accord with Matthew 19:9 she wishes to put him away, obtaining a legal divorce and thus ending the marriage Scripturally and legally.

    The elders would consider whether there is any known reason to conclude other than that the unbelieving mate had been immoral. If not, they could accept her signed statement.

    ?But,? someone might say, ?is it not possible to submit a deceptive, untruthful statement, saying that her husband confessed immorality when he actually never said that?? Actually, it would be gross deception for anyone to try that. David once prayed: "You have examined my heart, you have made inspection by night, you have refined me; you will discover that I have not schemed." (Ps. 17:3) Conversely, Jehovah is well aware when someone does scheme and He will make sure that the person does not lastingly succeed. Hence, if a Christian woman goes on record as stating that her husband has admitted immorality, Jehovah knows the facts. As the Bible says: "There is not a creation that is not manifest to his sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting."?Heb. 4:13; Prov. 5:21; Jer. 16:17.

    So if there is no reason to doubt the wife?s statement, the congregation elders can leave the matter between her and Jehovah. In that case she would have to bear before God the responsibility as to the actuality of her husband?s immoral course, which would be the Scriptural basis for ending the marriage even if the legal divorce were obtained on some other ground.

  • JT
    JT

    this is why i love this NET "THANG"

    ASK a question about something in PRINT--------------YOU WILL GET AN ANSWER

    i have always felt the wt worst enemy was not apostates but themselves, they put so much goofy stuff in writing

    you got to love it

  • blondie
    blondie

    That's my motto, JT, Hang Them With Their Own Words.

    Blondie

  • JT
    JT
    Hang Them With Their Own Words.

    YOU GOT that right- last week on the way out of the subway herein DC- 2 jw ladies were standing there at the gate in the bus waiting area with tons of folks standing there waiting to transfer to a bus,

    LAdy C is like--- "Come on we don't have time to mess with the jw today"-- smile

    but you know me- i wanted to have some fun- so i approached them and they made their offer- we talked and then i asked them to give me their biblical veiw point on --HOMOSEXUALITY AND BEASTILTY

    and they went "OFF" about how they were disgusting in god sight both in the hebrew and greek bible text

    and i agree "Yep the bible doesn't speak to highly of either one,"

    so i asked them

    hat would you think of a Church here in washington dc that taught it's members that they could not remarry if their mate was involved with either one-

    at this point Lady C's eyes have this glaze over them like-

    "HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE KINKY SEX DOGMA"- SMILE =see at this point i am speaking loud enough for by standers to hear what we are talking about and everyone knows SEX SELLS

    so everyones ears are all Perked up-

    once again they went "OFF" abotu how dirty and nasty it is

    SO at that point i had to drop the bomb by asking :

    "If what you say is true- that the bible never wold suport such a dogma, could you explain to all us here why you as JW taught this "As you put it Unbibical teaching and excommunicated members who violated by going on and divorcing and remarry"

    well you know the first reaction of your avg jw - SORTA LIKE CLINTON

    DENY DENY DENY

    Lady C at this point is like "Colored man will you please come on and let's go" smile

    then i dropped the ref on them- telling them when you come back here to the bus STOP -to be sure and bring a copy of the ref material and explain to any who are here today , who maybe back tomarrow why you all taught that.

    to see the look on thier face was like the mastercard thing PRICELESS

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    Funny JT... I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall and heard all that....

    as far as the above article, that was what gave me my freedome years ago when I was still trying to be a JW but my ex wouldn't admit to adultry except personally to me.. after two years and he still wouldn't admit anything the elders approached the CO on my situation and he told them to point the article out to me and it was then in my hands what I did with it. The very same article that Blondie referenced above is the one that I read and then wrote a letter explaining my reason for feeling I should have my scriptural freedom..

    Now note: this article was on an UNBELIEVING MATE. My ex (we were legally divorced), was only inactive but not DFd and they accepted the letter and gave me my freedom.

  • JT
    JT
    Funny JT... I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall and heard all that....

    as far as the above article, that was what gave me my freedome years ago when I was still trying to be a JW but my ex wouldn't admit to adultry except personally to me.. after two years and he still wouldn't admit anything the elders approached the CO on my situation and he told them to point the article out to me and it was then in my hands what I did with it. The very same article that Blondie referenced above is the one that I read and then wrote a letter explaining my reason for feeling I should have my scriptural freedom..

    Now note: this article was on an UNBELIEVING MATE. My ex (we were legally divorced), was only inactive but not DFd and they accepted the letter and gave me my freedom.

    excellent results for you , in fact i shared this with someone today and now we have the ref needed

    in all practicalness this is what the person needs to free himself and call it a day and move on with his life

    in fact this is the real reason why any person who is faced with this sitution should a STOP, AND SMELL THE ROSES

    and ask WHAT TYPE OF RELIGION AM I APART OF WHEN I HAVE TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    well that is why I got out after the second marriage.. the idiot duped me and can't even have sex.. he only wanted a green card.. so I will NEVER get scriptural freedom by him. I thought I am not going through this garbage again and quit. IF he knows what I am doing with my life right now I guess I have given him his freedom.. but I stopped playing by this religions rules and fortunately now I know it was a good decision.

  • JT
    JT
    IF he knows what I am doing with my life right now I guess I have given him his freedom.. but I stopped playing by this religions rules and fortunately now I know it was a good decision.

    EXCELLENT POINT

    it is like a Hall Monitor at school telling a female student as an officer of the court i need to do a body search so strip down to your socks-

    we laugh at such an example but in reality that is what an elder is as he questions you about the most personal issues of your life, -

    problem is they HAVE NO RIGHT OR AUTHORITY Beyond what we give them to question us IN ANY FASHSION OR ABOUT ANYTHING THEY WANT TO

  • scrubmaster
    scrubmaster

    JT -- Your bad. You know my situation and I have hit them up with this information about the change in positions as well.

    Thanks for all the help. I will let everyone know what happens. Buy the way I was going to move on with my life anyway. Remember in the end it is God who does the judging and not man.

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