Thinking about thinking and upbringing

by ballistic 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  BALLISTIC- VERY interesting thread. Thanks for creating it. I was  born-in to a JW family as my parents had been JW's 8 years before I was born. I exited finally at age 44 back in 2003 . It took awhile for some of the JW indoctrination to wear off and leave me - however after 11 years I can confidently say I've come a long way towards being mostly free of it. I don't know if we EVER lose the indoctrination totally- I do think it's possible- but it takes a conscious effort in re-programming our neurotransmitters in our brains with other information pumping through those brain neurons to reprogram our minds to think more open mindedly and in shades of gray - not black and white - and to restore our critical thinking ability which the WT Society stole from our minds. Once we get away from the WT indoctrination meetings our minds can breathe again and regain our authentic thought processes we were born with - especially if we work hard to re-program our minds in a different way.

   I also believe that we inherit DNA from our parents which helps us to form our OWN authentic personality whether we were raised JW's from birth- or not. For instance my JW mom who is 87 years old is a very reasonable person, open minded , kind, and will listen to  what I say about the WT Society in spite of her being a JW for 64 years. But there was part of her even while active as a JW that NEVER gave up all of her mind to the JW organization. She kept some of her own born with mind . I took after my mom and have a similar independent thought process that the JW cult NEVER totally stole from me in spite of years of indoctrination. I think it's hardwired in some of our DNA to be more independent as opposed to being dependent or a pushover. My 89 year old dad however is a hardcore JW elder still after 64 years and never questions the WT organization's views. And it could very well be that he was that way as a boy before becoming a JW.

    Point I'm making long story short is I think we each have the potential for our born in authentic personality to shine , but after having it temporarily stolen from the WT Society we need to WORK to get it back, it takes effort. And putting forth effort to think on our own was not encouraged for us as JW's. So after all is said and done it's up to us to find our true selves 
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  Phizzy

  "It's up to us to find our true selves "  so true Mr Flipper !

  Looking back I realise that, as a born-in, I had Zero Critical Thinking skills, and so many of my positions on issues were affected by JW "thinking".

  I also realise though, that my genuine personality was not subsumed by the W.T, nor completely stolen by them.

  It was there, and often all too visible as far as the Elders were concerned, but it meant that upon leaving the work I had to do to undo any WT/JW influence was quite easy, they simply never imprisoned me fully, so I took to Freedom like a duck to water.

  I just find that now it is so relaxing, I can be the true me, without forever "watching my back", the only time this has to come back is in the company of JW family, I restrain myself so much, buttoning my lip on many occasions, but this is out of love and consideration for them, so is part of the true me, I hope.

  Any work and effort expended on getting the true you to both surface, and to progress and develop, is worth it.

  You will find yourself at peace with yourself, and your fellowman.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Trying to add to Flipper's thoughts, I will stick with a computer analogy.  We are born without software.  We are hardware circuits that can be programmed to perform in various ways.  Although it is difficult to rid ourselves of the original first purposes given to our lives, they are simply software that was imposed upon the circuits.  It is possible.

  The difference would be that we are also "dedicated" hardware.  Our lives are dedicated to functioning in society.  So a total reboot and removal of ALL the software is not possible.  We would be adult vegetables if we could do that- having to learn to read and write and chew gum all over again.  So we are more like computers that must continue to function while we reprogram them.  But that happens all the time in the cyber-world.

  What we need to do is to feed ourselves new programs.  We need to absorb newer different ideas to override the embedded software that we really just can't quite get out of our heads.

  Now, that may mean we never quite get rid of some of our JW programming.  Many former JW's feel strongly against involvement in politics or they still feel that some things are wrong; homosexuality, fornication, smoking, etc.   Others get past some or all of that.  I think it really depends on how much effort you are able to put into it, and how much of it resonates with your hardware and really isn't JUST from JW programming.   

  Now to over-use my analogy, I was a convert as a young adult (with some exposure to JW's as I grew up).  I could more easily revert back to the software I had before I became a JW.  I could look at my JW experience more as a virus that attacked my programming.  It overrides, but the non-cult personality is down there still and I just have to root out the virus.  It may be easier for me because my hardware recognizes "safe" points before the virus took over and I can attempt to revert back to that stage instead of the total wipe-out of my "programming."
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  Xanthippe

   And then I thought, how was my brain originally wired? How have I changed it? What about the period after I was df, how did I survive? Does it explain why some people "go off the rails" ? - Ballistic

  Having watched my daughter grow up it seems to me that children just want to enjoy life and whatever happens they try and survive. So I must have constantly tried to be happy in that religion as a child and tried to survive my mother's need to drag me to meetings and cope with trying to be a social animal at school while not joining in with anything.

  Unfortunately while I was trying to survive and squeeze some happiness out of my weird life I grew up,  totally indoctrinated into the cult. What I find now even after more than a quarter of a century out, is that I just want to play, play, play.  I'm making up for lost time, I suppose. However it has taken me a long time to become like this.

  At first I wanted to get qualifications, a job, a home, a family and also do something 'worthwhile' blah, blah, blah. Now I think I want to learn how to be a human. The way that children learn, by finding out what makes me happy, what doesn't, what is healthy, what isn't, and so on.

  So Ballistic thanks for this topic. I realise that surviving has taken a very long time although much of it has also been enjoyable. Finally I am probably now back to the beginning as far as rewiring my brain, and I'm going to enjoy it. Pass the toys, what do people do for fun around here?