Funeral/Memorial at the Kingdom Hall ... Would you go?

by Wild_Thing 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Wild_Thing

    Let's say an aunt or uncle dies.

    Let's say you barely knew them.

    Let's say their memorial service was held at the Kingdom Hall.

    Let's say if you attend, you have to deal with shunning from family and JWs, and you are forced listen to them present their Paradise Promotional materials, and the dead person's "Earthly Hope™", and let's face it ... the heeby-jeebies of having to be in a Kingdom Hall again.

    Would you put yourself through it? Why?

  • dubstepped


    My dad died 6 months after we disassociated. While it hurt not to even be invited to his memorial, though my mom called to see if my name and my wife's could be used in the talk as who he was survived by, I don't think I would have gone anyway. I could maybe go into a random KH for a meeting out of morbid curiosity, but not somewhere where I had to be shunned and people knew me. Nope, not going to subject myself to that.

  • StarryNight9

    It's not a memorial talk... it's a propaganda display for a (literally) captive audience. There might be some personalized aspects depending on who gives the talk. However, I've seen several read-the-obituary and then launch directly into a dry cookie-cutter spiel about the ransom sacrifice talks. You wouldn't know it was a funeral except for the 30 second obituary and all the flowers. Those aren't the worst ones. I've seen talks that directly guilt-trip inactive/disfellowshipped children who are attending their parents funerals ("what so-and-so wanted to see most is all of his children in the paradise").

    IMO - people would be better off to hold a small private ceremony, plant a tree, or something...

  • ToesUp

    No. I will never step foot into another KH! I cringe when I just drive by one.

  • StephaneLaliberte

    I would go to a JW if I had respect/sincere affection for the deceased AND his family. For example, I went for a sister who had died of cancer and even wrote about it on this forum. However, there was another brother I really loved and was a positive influence in my life. When he passed, even though I loved him, I didn't go as his son considers me like an anti-christ. The deceased isn't there, so you actually do it for the family.

  • hoser

    It is an infomercial for the Jehovah’s Witness cult. I’ve been to my aunts and my grandmas in recent years. I just sit and try to ignore the bullshit (just like when I go to the meetings)

  • joe134cd

    I have said to myself I will only ever walk into a KH 4 more times? 1xfor my grandfathers funeral 1x for my fathers funeral. 2xfor my great Aunts funeral. For all the rest of my jw relatives it would be quite nice if I was never informed if they died. Well I hardly ever see them any way.

  • kairos

    I will not attend any. NEVER!! ( yells )

  • Sigfrid Mallozzi
    Sigfrid Mallozzi

    I have thought about this over the last few years because one of my parents is getting older. Recently, there was a family member that has had serious health issues and I wasn't informed personally. I have always thought that going to the funeral was for the benefit of the survivors and living. Since my inactivity in their religion, they have put the strangle on me, hanging up the phone when I call and rejecting letters and gifts. I don't believe I would attend a funeral at a Kingdom Hall or other place. Not just because of their shunning and my personal pain, the family doesn't want me there. So, fine. Perhaps someday they will recognize their error as their paradise doesn't materialize.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    Recently the JW mom of an exjw friend died. I knew her as we were all in the same congregation. I like and respect both of my friend's parents and his siblings. His brother (is still very much a JW too) used to be my friend.

    I went to the condolence 'meeting' at the funeral home on Monday evening. And I went to the KH propaganda talk on Wednesday.

    Yes, I very much dislike that propaganda talk. Yet there are quite a few reasons for me to go anyway:

    • Support my exjw friend, who would be in the KH with his pimi wife and family.
    • Support my pimi wife.
    • Show the JW I know I'm not miserable nor afraid of them.

    As expected the talk sucked. I'm happy the deceased had arranged for her actual funeral to be a friends and family only private event outside the kh, where friends and children spoke about personal memories.

    Even my wife thought the talk was just an impersonal advertisement that wasn't fitting the deceased, nor the partly nonjw audience.

    I stayed in the KH quite long afterwards. Some people came to me to chat (I was pinned down by a sleeping daughter). Some people notably didn't. Some did that strange hug that means "my JW brainwashed conscience doesn't allow me to actually speak to you, but my humanity compels me do do something loving and acknowledge you anyway".

    Anyway my exjw friend very much appreciated me being there, and that's most important to me.

    Oh, and I accidentally poured coffee on a chair in the auditorium. Oops.

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