A question regarding letters of disassociation....

by logansrun 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  logansrun

  Are elders instructed to contact a JW who has written a letter of DA before they make the announcement to the congregation? I mean, even a phone call to persuade them not to take that course of action? The reason I ask is my father told me that no one contacted him in any way when he mailed his DA letter to the elders.

  Let's say this is in fact the true religion -- wouldn't it be the course of compassion to at least try and reason with someone about to take such an action? Especially if the letter was relatively unexpected (as was the case w/my dad) and coming off the heals of an emotionally wrenching episode (marital seperation)?

  What is the official stance on this?

  Bradley
• 

  shotgun

  I think Winston posted that they had a non-judicial meeting with him and to their surprise he gave them a DA letter and walked out.

  They announced it the next week without contacting him or trying to dissuade him.

  Maybe it depends on the Elders?
• 

  logansrun

  Shotgun,

  The difference between Winston's situation and my dad's was that my dad was not contacted even before he wrote the DA letter for some time. He had become inactive and the only contact he had with the elders was regarding his failing marriage. True, he had a number of "run-in's" with the elders over various things, but it would behoove a "hiding place from the wind" to try and discuss such an extremist action with a member of their flock.

  B.
• 

  Mulan

  Our niece wrote a letter asking them to leave her alone, or call first before they dropped by. She also indicated it was NOT a disassociation letter, and threatened legal action if they made that announcement anyway. They never contacted her again, but they read her disassociation at the next service meeting.
• 

  willyloman

  So, Marilyn, what legal action did your niece take as a result of their reading the announcement?
• 

  Loris

  Here is another question. My daughter-in-law suffers from PTSD bigtime as a result of childhood sexual abuse. The elders know this. She gets suicidal occasionally. She does some really whacked out things. Then she recovers sort of and life goes on. OK she went into a mental health facility and out of bordom, trying to fit in or whatever, she took up smoking while in there. She did not get visited by any of the elders while there. She did not get visited by any elders after she was released. She did not get so much as a phone call when she was in a car wreck and injured. But one 'sister' did call on her oldest daughter to try to get a Bible study started. The oldest daughter,13, was then pumped for information and told the helpful 'sister' about her mother's smoking.

  The elder's sent her a certified letter notifying her of their decision to DF her at the next service meeting. She called me and let me know. (I DA'd a year ago) I reminded her of what the speculation would be after the announcement. She would be branded an adulteress in the small minds of the cong. I suggested that she write a DA letter so that the small minds would have to think as to the real reason she was leaving. She sent a DA letter that was received on the Saturday before the Tuesday service meeting.

  Back to the question. What is the protocol. What announcment would have been given to the cong.? The You're Fired or the I Quit?

  We do not know which one since we can not talk to anyone who attends the indoctrine sessions. But we are curious.

  Loris
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  willyloman

  Dear sweet Loris:

  You expect rules to be followed? You expect justice and compassion? Hello?
• 

  snowy

  My friend wrote a disassociaton letter recently and no one contacted him. It seems kind of strange that the elders wouldn't at least let the person know when they made the announcement. Maybe we shouldn't be surprised, but it's disappointing to see love turned on and off like a switch. It's like the time spent previously meant nothing. It makes me sad.
• 

  FairMind

  willyloman said "You expect rules to be followed? You expect justice and compassion?" I used to expect these things but no more! Seems that some get it and some don't. This isn't Jehovah's fault, it is due to the arrogance of man.
• 

  Winston Smith :>D

  I think Winston posted that they had a non-judicial meeting with him and to their surprise he gave them a DA letter and walked out.

  They announced it the next week without contacting him or trying to dissuade him

  Shotgun

  Geez-us shotgun.

  My wife answers for me when I get asked Q's in groups.

  Now I got you as my Internet wife?

  But to answer your Q bradley,

  ummmmm....

  ...., ya, pretty much what shotgun said