I think I was terribly wrong...

by sinboi 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sinboi

    I have once commented under the topic "Are you better off as a worldly person or a JW? "

    I am a born-in but left nearly a year ago at age 16. I would say when I was a jw and was still fully convinced that it is the truth, I was happier. I have a hope then. Maybe ignorance is not a bad thing after all.
    Now that I am out. I faced the question many people have : What is the purpose of life?
    I cannot be happy when I find no answer....

    But now when I ponder over it, I think I was terribly wrong.

    It seems like when I made that comment, deep inside I was blaming people for taking away the hope from me. I am really sorry if I have offended any of you here with my comment.

    I should be happy that I found out about TTATT at a young age. If nobody has taken that false hope from me, I would be still be living in a lie.

    I know that when I am 30 year old and the big A haven’t come yet, I will begin to doubt. If that is the case, I would have wasted 30 years of my life living in a lie!

    100 years ago, that borg told the young that they will never grow old. I am sure they were very happy then. But what happened? I think I can understand how they feel when they started to turn 60 y/o…

    I realize now how fortunate I am…

  • Xanthippe

    It's true if you quit spending all your time believing in a fantasy hope you can then start living and learning about reality. We have to work with what's real and what we have rather than pretty dreams.

  • sparrowdown

    Yes, you really dodged a bullet finding ttatt so young.The "what now" question is just a natural progression after finding out your sole purpose in life is not to please "Jehovah."

    The real question though is what is your purpose? Finding that thing that makes you happy and gives you a reason to get up in the morning. You have plenty of time to explore.

  • smiddy3

    I should be happy that I found out about TTATT at a young age.

    I realize now how fortunate I am .

    Don`t be too hard on yourself sinboi ,you will be O.K.

    I was a convert as a 20 yr. old married in the "truth" 1960 and brought up two boys with the belief they would never go to high school.they are both married now with families of their own , thankfully we are all out of the religion.

    Though it took me 33 years to know TTATT and at first it was a bit traumatic and I was a bit paranoid about coming to sites like this when I eventually got a computer.

    Now I just want to share what I can and hope it helps someone somewhere.

    Take care my young friend.

  • Onager

    You're a great person Sinboi! I've loved seeing you working through things on this forum, starting off with an idea, deciding it's wrong and moving on. Keep it up!


  • Alex Bogdanov
    Alex Bogdanov

    The meaning of life is to live. You have to remember that even in the Bible when Abraham, Joseph, Job, David died it doesnt say they died happy because they found the truth, or they found Jehovah, or they were on the ministry, or Jehovah is happy with them etc. It says they died happy because they were "full of years" or "satisfied with life". Our mission is to have a full and great life. So before we will die we will appreciate our life and thank God for giving us this chance. 👍

  • nugget

    I was 10 in 1975 when the world was supposed to end. I was not expected to leave school in this system.

    I was 22 in 1988 when they had the talk " Responsible childbearing in this time of the end" where I was told that there were no children on Noah's ark and couples should postpone starting a family until the new order.

    I was told as a young adult not to pursue education or a career because my life in this system is temporary I would not grow old.

    I am 53 this year had I followed their advice I would have missed out on family life. I would be struggling to make ends meet. I would have lived an unfulfilled life, Knowing sooner and getting out whilst you have a chance to live the life that makes you happy is so important. If you waste the opportunity then that is on you.

  • Giordano

    Sinboi you are in creditably young but growing older and more mature each day.

    I was Baptized when I was 16 this would be in 1959. Six months later a friend gave me a copy of Eric Hoffer's The True Believer.

    Hoffer was a blue collar social philosopher who worked on the docks as a longshoreman.

    While waiting for a ship to arrive to be off loaded he began to write his seminal book. He was looking at large religious movements and Communism, the Third Reich etc. He never mentions the WTBTS and their JW's. What he was after was the common traits true believers were exposed to.

    After reading some of the following...... I realized the WT was a serious manipulator of it's believers.

    After reading his book I never looked at the W corporate entity in the same way again. I, along with my wife, now in our young 20's........ got out of the 'truth'. And made a very good life for ourselves.

    The following opened my eyes and my understanding of what I was really dealing with.

    All active mass movements strive, therefore, to interpose a fact-proof screen between the faithful and the realities of the world. ...by claiming that the ultimate and absolute truth is already embodied in their doctrine and that there is no truth nor certitude outside it. ...To rely on the evidence of senses and of reason is heresy and treason. It is startling to realize how much unbelief is necessary to make belief possible. What we know as blind faith is sustained by innumerable unbelief's.
    "[They] pray not only for [their] daily bread, but also for [their] daily illusion."

    Here, as elsewhere, the technique of a mass movement aims to infect people with a malady and then offer the movement as a cure.

    Not only does a mass movement depict the present as mean and miserable - it deliberately makes it so. It fashions a pattern of individual existence that is dour, hard, repressive and dull. It decries pleasures and comforts and extols the rigorous life. It views ordinary enjoyment as trivial or even discreditable, and represents the pursuit of personal happiness as immoral.

    If a doctrine is not unintelligible, it has to be vague; and if neither unintelligible nor vague, it has to be unverifiable. One has to get to heaven or the distant future to determine the truth of an effective doctrine.

    All mass movements rank obedience with the highest virtues and put it on a level with faith.

    There can be no mass movement without some deliberate misrepresentation of facts.

    When we believe ourselves in possession of the only truth, we are likely to be indifferent to common everyday truths.

    The blood ban, encouragement not to get higher learning, the 11 year ban on Transplants, discouraging Vaccines in the past, discouraging friendships and association with non JW's. And always........ obedience.

    Sinboi this is what you have escaped from.

  • StephaneLaliberte
    sinboi: What is the purpose of life? I cannot be happy when I find no answer....

    JWs like to point out how horrible this world is. When looking at the news, it is easy to believe them. Yes, life can through absolute horror at us. But this is not constant. There are moments in this life where you can have absolute happiness. This morning I brought my kids to school. My eldest son stepped out of the car and asked me to lower my window down. He than told me he loved me and wished I had a good day at work. It was like a huge. Life can give you absolutely beautiful things and we simply need to appreciate these.

    Looking at the news, I can see that two brothers (fleshly brothers), died by over dose. I cannot imagine the pain this is bringing to their parents who lost both of their kids at the same time. I now have two options: Focus on that, go at length about how evil this world is, and how impossible it is to be happy. Or, I can simply enjoy the fact that my two kids are doing well and that we love each other.

    Sure, perhaps one day, they could very well end up in the very same way, who knows. I`m sure the parents of the other two kids never predicted that. However, I will not shadow my own happiness now by thinking of the worst possible outcome.

    Life can be beautiful and when these moments of beauty or passing by, we have to recognize them, cherish them, so that one day, when it does bad, these memories will carry and comfort us. Purpose of life? To actually live this life.

    JWs (and other religious nuts) are so focused on finding everything bad around them that they miss the beauty all around them.

  • Ray Frankz
    Ray Frankz

    I can assure you that this phase is normal, I believe everybody who ever found TTATT has passed through moments wondering "if I'm not a JW what I am". It's not wrong to ask this, just be patient and you will get the answer. If you end up being an atheist, so it is. If you find a halfway that fits you better, gives U some kind of spiritual peace, so go on.

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