Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad

by charonsdog 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • charonsdog

    Today, July 1, I wrote what has become my annual contact with my parents. It is their 51st wedding anniversary. I e-mail them from across the world where I now live to let them know that I haven't forgotten them, I still love them, and that I'm doing okay. I know that they wonder. And as usual, I get the brief reply: 'Thank you. Glad you are okay. Praying for your return to Jehovah- who forgives in a large way... Love you'

    I have no regrets about leaving the cult. But like many of you have experienced, it comes at such a high price. I don't have any relationship with my parents, who are getting up in age. My daughter (who sometimes still contacts me on the sly) is getting married, and I won't be in attendance. From her, I have found out that I'm soon to be a grandfather, as my son and his wife are expecting. I'll possibly never hear the news from him. And I'll have no part in my grandson's life.

    It's sad to see that my parents are still such true believers. They have had ample opportunity in the last 46 years to see that the organization is not leading God's people. It breaks my heart to see my kids still involved, and I feel a big sense of guilt, because I am responsible for their upbringing. I ignored my own doubts while I dutifully impressed upon them the need to "stick close to Jehovah". I hope that they can see through the veil of lies at some point.

    My girlfriend tries to be supportive of me when I feel down about my loss, but she cannot possibly understand what I have gone through, so her platitudes just end up making me angry. I prefer not to talk about it with her. I'm pretty open about my past as a JW if anyone over here asks about my history. Some of them are sympathetic, but again, they really cannot fathom what it's really like to have your entire life ripped away when you finally decide that you won't live with the lies and deception anymore. Not being understood is a lonely place.

    Until next year, Mom and Dad.

  • carla

    I am so sorry about the loss of you family due to this insidious cult.

  • Simon

    Many of us know exactly what you're going through. Sorry you're one of us but we understand.

  • stuckinarut2

    Thanks for sharing this post.

    Im so sorry that those members of your family lose out on the privilege of a relationship with you. It is their loss I'm sure.

    Take care my friend.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Them: 'Thank you. Glad you are okay. Praying for your return to Jehovah- who forgives in a large way... Love you'

    You: Love you too and I'm confident that Jehovah will forgive those who judge others and who punish them in his name.

  • scruffmcbuff

    Sorry to hear for the loss of contact. That must be truely heart breaking.

    Your not alone buddy and just know you made the right choice. And maybe your stance could be what saves your kids from the cult.

  • flipper

    CHARONSDOG- I'm very sorry to hear that you have been experiencing this. Me too. You're not alone buddy, many of us are experiencing this. Please accept this virtual hug from one that goes through this every day of my life as well. Hang in there, we understand. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    I feel so sorry for your situation. It's so sad, so sad. Hopefully your children will wake up and you will be reunited with them. If you asked me a week ago if that could happen I would say most likely not but now I have changed my mind. Stay positive dreams can really come true. Take care. Still Totally ADD

  • ToesUp


    Your post is heartbreaking. NO ONE deserves to loose their family. I'm sorry. You have all right to feel the way you do.

    I hope WT pays for all the hurt it has caused others. They rip families apart.

    Sending hugs your way!!!

  • just fine
    just fine

    Only an ex JW would understand the significance of this on their anniversary. It’s the only thing they are allowed to celebrate, only time gifts and cards were sent. So while others reflect on Mothers Day or Thanksgiving we reflect on their Anniversaries.

    I am sorry you are going through this. Know you are not alone. ❤️Hugs❤️

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