Our Letter to Our Family

by What Now? 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    Excellent letter.

    If I need to write one (again), I'll be sure to take it as an example.

    Thanks for sharing.

    I hope your family really understands what you wrote...

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    Thank you all for your support!

    In my last conversation with my mother, she played the victim, saying things like "YOU'RE the one that's changed", "YOU'RE the reason our relationship has to end". It was important for me to point out that they have a choice too, that they're hurting us just as much.

    No response from any of them yet...

  • truthseekeriam
    Great letter! I think it will help many others struggling to find the right words with their families. Thanks for sharing.
  • dubstepped
    I really liked how you pointed out that it is their choice to shun you and if they suffer it is because of that. Much like you said though, they are taught to play the victim. Like any good narcissist, they will always view things through their eyes only, and that's what the Borg teaches. You're the one that left, so you get all of the blame. Victim shaming is the thing now, all the cool kids are doing it. It didn't strike me until many years into shunning my brother who was DF'ed that he might have feelings too. I had never thought about DF'ing from the other side and what those people must feel like. That was an eye opener for me. I hate what Jehovah's Witnesses do to families and just human beings, tearing them apart and making them think about themselves only. It is a sick cult. I'm so sorry that you're facing this. My wife and I both lost our families because we broke rank and spoke with my DF'ed brother after well over a decade. The shunning started, and since we DA'ed it is official. They are sad, small minded people, and I was once the same way. If your family chooses to shun, maybe someday they too will come around.
  • Butyoucanneverleave
    Wow! That really puts things in perspective. I hope that your family can see what that cult does to families. It destroys them. So much for family values. I have to say that those bible stories are disturbing.
  • PaintedToeNail

    This is a really thought provoking letter. I hope your family can get past the sections that are highlighted quotes. My mother would stop reading at that point and burn the letter (it doesn't matter if it is true). She would be so shocked to read those words! The part where you put the blame back on themselves is perfect. Love the reasoning.

    Excellent work all around!

  • MrsR-Awaken
    What a wonderful eye opening letter!! I wish I had the guts to tell all that to my family. Thanks so much for sharing this and I will definitely be taking notes on it and mabey someday I will show my family who I really am because I'm sick of this horrible religion!!! My husband finally is by my side on this so that is a plus!! But I wish you to continue living a long happy life with your family. And I really hope that moves your parents to opening their eyes to this brain washing cult.
  • smiddy

    A brilliant letter What Now , however I doubt that your parents would finish reading it , if ever they even started to read it .

    I think lurkers and newbies will gain more from it than your parents .

    I hope I`m wrong , about your parents , it would be lovely if they did read it and meditated on your words , though I would`nt hold my breath on that.

    P.S. Welcome to the board Mrs R-Awaken , I`m glad to hear your hubby is supportive of you .

    All of you take care


  • nicolaou

    Awesome letter What Now?

    In my last conversation with my mother, she played the victim, saying things like "YOU'RE the one that's changed", "YOU'RE the reason our relationship has to end".

    You might enjoy this topic from a couple of years back . .

    "You knew what the consequences were when YOU decided to leave The Truth. This is YOUR decision and the outcome is YOUR responsibility."
  • What Now?
    What Now?

    I can only hope they read it all!

    It is literally a life changing decision with consequences that could affect us for the rest of our lives (and theirs) so I hope they respect us enough to do that.

    But I'll be happy even if it helps some of YOU here :)

    Thanks Nicolaou for that link- it's a great discussion and some excellent reasoning.

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