And good for you for realizing where the brainwashing was headed and not going there.
Conditioned responses: Have you been conditioned to feel judged, or guilt etc that has spilled over into your exjw life?
by Diogenesister 18 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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LongHairGal
DUBSTEPPED:
You are right about that. I had a lot of guilt because I did not listen to all those people there who criticized me and literally called me names.. But, if I HAD listened, I would be so screwed today it wouldn’t even be funny!
So, the fact that they hated me then doesn’t mean anything now. These people aren’t paying my bills.
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Diogenesister
Thank you everyone for your replies.
I think the pressures on jws in the congs are universally felt. It may appear some people cope with the pressure better, but as you said @Dubstepped, it manifests itself in ways others don't always see....no one but you kids would ever guess your Dad couldn't take you fishing even one lousy Saturday morning due to the overwhelming bad conscience he would suffer if he didn't lead in service.
I think we can all agree watchtower uses abusive methods to get ITS needs met....or rather its wants. My sadness is that I haven't really been able to shake that feeling of being a " faulty piece of work".
I just would like everyone to be aware of how deeply we can be affected, particularly if the indoctrination began in childhood.Do look up " conditioned responses" and make sure that, whilst still showing love to others, you care for yourselves exjws!!!
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compound complex
Thank you, Diogenesister, for this thread. I'm sorry for the distress caused you and others here as well.
The application of Old Testament scripture to our supposed obligation towards Jehovah was over the top. You must warn the wicked or die with them. You and other posters said it all. I can only add that when the WT/Awake! subscriptions were the offer of the month, I couldn't concentrate fully on work because I was in a turmoil over offering all my fellow employees the double sub.
Their lives depended on my getting the magazines into their hands.
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Diogenesister
Their lives depended on my getting the magazines into their hands.
Isnt it incredible CoCo??! A magazine subscription!!
Why oh why didnt we see through it!!
Sadly we can still suffer with flashes of anxiety or even panic attacks in other areas of our lives if we feel we are not living up to some measuring stick....which exists only in our own minds, mostly.
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compound complex
And thank you again, Diogenesister, for your reply.
I was greatly influenced by the anointed. Mom studied with an anointed sister, Lillian Groebel, in the early '50s. They were in our local congregations and seemed, for whatever reason, to take to me and my spiritual education.
Well, when I got to Bethel, the place was full of them. One dear little sister in subscriptions, Sister Kraeker, held up a yellow slip (Awake!) and told me that this little piece of paper represented someone's life . . .
Can you see the effect that had on me?!?!?!?
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dubstepped
BloodGUILT, they literally used the word for a lack of getting the message out. You know, because if Jehovah killed someone unnecessarily it would be our fault, not the fault of the all knowing mass murderer.
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Diogenesister
Absolutely CoCo. I, being a girl, didn't go to Bethel ( although I remember as a child the first time I was told about them. I was told at that time only males were allowed and that they were given 50p a month for socks!! I looked upon them as veritable saints and would have loved to have joined them!). However I too saw each magazine as someone's life and if I ever found one in the rubbish bin or discarded on the street would " rescue"it and even if dirty would 'place' it face up somewhere prominent.
I also didn't ever count my time when informal witnessing as I felt the whole thing was wrong, putting down lots of time, and " blowing your own trumpet". Not truly following Jesus example.
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Diogenesister
BloodGUILT, they literally used the word for a lack of getting the message out. You know, because if Jehovah killed someone unnecessarily it would be our fault, not the fault of the all knowing mass murderer
yes @Dubstepped that's more or less the point TheraminTrees makes, in the video I posted, regarding our feeling of being sinful And judged. That we were made that way because of something we didn't do, and if God has omniscience he could have seen the future....(the fruit issue with Adam and eve) and the awful millennia of suffering.
From the spider eaten alive by wasp larvae to the millions of children who have died of cancer to the loneliness of widowhood..... " all of creation groaning" and somehow it's OUR FAULT??!!