by Akid48 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Akid48

    Oh buy this is going to be long.I'll be lucky if most of you still remember me Its been a really long time since I've posted. So im 15 now makes me happy because Im getting so close to being able to work and being able to make my own money and save it.I've had talks with my family I havent said flat out that I dont care or like this but they have figured out that I dont agree with it,who knows whats that means for the future but I know its most likely going to be something bad.The way I've dealt with this hole shit hole is that I just dont let it get to me.I told myself Im not going to let this hole thing ruin my childhood and my chance to make memories and to do things that normal kids can do,and the year I said that is the year Ive made so many storys about dumb and fun things I did and that year made me feel like a normal kid and made me feel like nothing was wrong and maybe my life isn't that bad.I know its not smart I know I'll be in big trouble if my aunt or anybody that JW found out about what I was doing could go very wrong,but at this point I dont care even if thats dumb Im just not going to let this ruin my time to have fun and be active before I become a adult,alot of stuff went on I mean I diged my own hole have my own girlfriend big red flag to them I have all worldly friends big red flag to them when most of its just me being normal but those two would put me into deep shit.

    I know that the hole double life thing is bad to JW's but if any other teenager or kid is on this website I just want to say dont be scared to live a double life,dont be Its brought more happiness than I've ever had in years its brought more motivation in my life than anything.Its like having the life you should've had yes its hard to get through the loops of dealing with JW's but all the work is worth it.The so called double life is a NORMAL LIFE that you should live so dont feel bad and live the life you should be living.

    but Im happy to be posting again that first part is my update and the second one is for any kid that is looking around here,I hope you guys are doing good and I hope everybody is fine its good to be back!

  • Vanderhoven7

    Thanks for the update on your life Akid48.

    Sounds like your parents actually know what's going on...but are still hoping you will eventually fully dedicate yourself to the organization.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    Hey kid, I remember you ;-)

    Good to hear your keeping up your spirits!

    Btw don't know if you're on Reddit too, but there are quite a few teens over at reddit.com/r/exjw that are stuck inside for now but prepare to spread their wings as soon as it's possible, just like you are.

  • Akid48

    Yeah I'll make sure to check it out I've been off reddit but I'll make sure to start looking around thanks anders andersen!

  • alanv

    I wish i'd been strong enough to question what i was told when i was a JW teen. It took me two decades to get up the courage to check the JWs out. So glad I did, I really enjoy my life now, with friends I can disagree with sometimes, but still be close. Hope all goes well for you, I'm sure it will though.

  • smiddy3

    Good luck AKid48 ,I hope everything works out for you in the long run .And if your parents and friends disown you for the decisions you make in leaving the religion that is ,then they are not worthy of you .

    Parents should support their kids choices in life unless they are doing something illegal of course which you are not.

    Take care buddy.

    I wish you well.

  • tiki

    Take school and education seriously. Life is not a teenage party. Ramp up your scholastic endeavors and think about college...a career....making a good strong life for yourself. There is more to it than wrangling about religion.

  • Giordano

    I remember you and because you are the future....... I read what you have to say.

    I'm going to talk to you about another aspect of your age and the next ten or so years. Your Frontal Cortex is still growing and will continue to do so for another ten years.

    Image result for frontal cortex
    The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the cerebral cortex covering the front part of the frontal lobe. This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behavior, personality expression, decision making, and moderating social behavior.
    These are all skills that take some education and thought to realize.
    Remember when you were a 5 year old or a ten year old? Your not that person any longer. one day you will be 20 years old and look back and realize you probably did any number of foolish things. From that point forward you will be able to better see the future.
    Until then you need to understand your undeveloped brain can lead you into a lot of bad decisions. You will be easy to be manipulated by parents re the JW religion........ Friends who have developed bad traits like unsafe driving or get drunk and reckless or think trying any and all drugs is cool.
    Then there is unprotected sex and sexual diseases that are passed around like a bowl of M and M's.
    Your brain now....... will start to feed on simulation........ and lacks the maturity for restraint....nor does it understand the unintended consequences your actions may cause.
    There are a lot of young people in prisons because of serious mistakes in judgement.
    There is a reason a rental car agency does not rent cars to people under the age of 23 (maybe shorter or longer depending on the company). Their undeveloped brains are too accident prone.

    In military terms those 18 year old's who join the military are said to be in the infantry. Infant is the word for young people who don't realize the danger they may be subjected to when they enlist to fight in our many wars. The military depends on 'infants'.
    Your job at this point is not to make a mess you can't clean up.
  • rawe

    Hi Akid48,

    Thanks for sharing your post. My youngest daughter is now 15. My older three daughters all were JWs as teens. However in Montana's case she was 4 when we left. I feel pretty strongly about personal honesty. When I left the faith I never hid details. That said, living a "double life" is not something one sees in more reasonable faiths. JWs, as a religion, completely ignore natural teen development around sexual development and risk taking (as Giordano mentioned above).

    Risk taking for example. Einstein was a young man when he formulated special relativity. He was even still quite young when he expanded it to general relativity. Lots of thinkers believe it was his young brain allowed him to take big risks. It is young that give us a willingness to take big risks and make big mistakes. As we age we get older we become more risk adverse. And of course there is good reason for this, since some mistakes can injure, even kill.

    JWs, as a religion, are obsessed with sex. Most young men and women at some point will masturbate. Yet the leaders of the faith are happy to heap guilt on its members of such a thing. Statistic vary but most young adults by the by college age will have lost their virginity. A small percentage of JW young will wrangle with that fact they are gay, lesbian or transgender. Can any of this be dealt with openly in a JW family? Sadly, no! Thus so often people, teens yes, but adults too, live double lives in the faith. My wife hated going door-to-door (she is a naturally shy person). But had to pretend that she loved it.

    We are now Unitarian Universalists and so Montana enrolled in OWL through the UUs. OWL stands for Our Whole Lives. Basically UU-sponsored sex ed. As a parent I thought, great, they'll teach her about STDs and unwanted pregnancy, etc (i.e. the kind of thing parents worry lots about). They did. But I was surprised at the main focus was ideas of communication and self-body-rights. That is, everyone has the right to decide, what happens with their body, especially in regards to sex. And that none of this is really taboo. That one can communicate feelings, desires in an open and honest way.

    When I started taking Montana to UU I told her that I would expect her to attend until she is 16 (a few months from now). At that point it would be her choice to continue or not. We have lots of father/daughter disagreements. She'll tell me I don't get this or that and will sigh at the fact that I'm a software engineer yet don't know how to operate all the things on my phone. But... she knows that ultimately her life is her own.

    Leaving the faith is difficult for anyone. I hope you're able to make a great path forward.

    Cheers, -Randy

  • DesirousOfChange

    Your job at this point is not to make a mess you can't clean up.

    Well stated.

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