Six weeks after I left the meetings an elder called on me to check whether to have me disfellowshipped as an apostate or to be disassociated. I told him that after a lot of thought, the religion was simply not for me and so it was announced at the meeting that Half banana was no longer one of Js Ws. This curt announcement implied to my old friends and family that I had gone over to the devil and that I was to be avoided like the plague.
I really sympathise jp1692, one of my three children is still an ardent witness. The main thing, as l learned from the experience of criticising the JW org with my then-in daughter, is that it takes about ten years to heal the wounds inflicted by such adverse comments. I have been careful never to mention the religion with my still-in son (mid thirties) but recently he has voluntarily now sought my company after long years of avoiding me. Whether he leaves the cult or not-- I have my son back. I just hope that common sense will eventually kick in with him and I hope the same will happen with your sons as well.
Perhaps the best we can do is never criticise their beliefs instead find reasons to praise our offspring for things they do which are not connected with the religion. This last point seemed to work in my situation.