The Curious Case Of Brother B

by pale.emperor 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pale.emperor

    There was a case in my old congregation that is shrouded in mystery that i'd like to share and get your views. This is something i've wanted to talk about for years but it's strongly shot down if you even try to talk about it in my old congregation.

    It involves a certain Brother B.

    In my old congregation this brother was well liked. As a kid, we all knew him for being fascinated with Dinosaurs. He knew everything about them and lived and breathed paleontology. Anyway, Brother B also owned a snooker/pool hall. It did pretty well, there was virtually no where else in the city you could go to play snooker/pool that was as good as his place. It was a huge place that was always busy with pros and amateurs, and it even had a little pub attached to it.

    Brother B was well liked. One day he got married to Sister B. About 3 years later they have a baby boy. Brother B dotes on his child like something you've never seen. As im writing this i can still see him holding his darling boy up in the air and the baby laughing at his daddy. Brother B gives his boy a kiss. A perfect picture of a happy family.

    Then suddenly Brother B is never seen again by other congregation members. And whenever we ask about him we're shot down or given vague answers. Something didn't quite add up. Next thing, Sister B has inherited his entire business (the snooker/pool hall) and all the staff working there are all JW's. Note: Brother B was never announced as disfellowshipped.

    My grandmother, who wasn't a JW but was well liked by all in the congregation (my granddad was a JW), was talking to my dad in the kitchen one day. And i overheard her say "it's terrible about what happened with Brother B, he did nothing wrong... nothing". My dad said "Yes mum, I know. But we cant do anything about it.".

    I never did learn what happened. I know he tried to get custody of is son and lost. Then a ministerial servant in the congregation we'll call Brother S was friends with Brother B and wouldn't give up. He wanted answers. Why has his friend gone off the radar? He hasn't been DF'd so whats gone on? Eventually he was told what it was and stopped attending meetings from then on. This was a well used and good spiritual man. To this day no one I've asked seems to know. Some in the congregation do but when it's brought up they deflect the answer.

    I was speaking to a friend who was raised a JW but never baptized and stopped going and he told me that one day the witnesses were witnessing in his area, the unknowingly knocked on his door and he chased them down the path shouting at them that they'd ruined his life.

    It's like an Agatha Christie novel. And what makes it more perplexing is that we're all supposed to forget that he ever existed. All traces of him have been purged from the congregation. If you mention his name you get a stern look or warned not to ask about it.

    To this day i think about him and miss him. I wonder what became of him. And i wonder if he knows that some of us who wernt in a congregation click miss him. But aside from all that, i really, really hope he has contact with his boy. He must be about 16 now.

  • Tricked

    I'm thinking he probably woke up and was labelled a suspected "Apostate", never to be spoken of again. I also knew two elders that just never came back to meetings, just went inactive and I was always mystified by it. It's only recently I've managed to get out of the JW mindset and realise what probably happened.

    I was always shocked how disfellowshipped ones were never spoken of again too.

  • Cold Steel
    Cold Steel
    All traces of him have been purged from the congregation. If you mention his name you get a stern look or warned not to ask about it.

    This is amazing. Who in the congregation has the authority to give you a "stern look" or warn you not to ask about it? I've never heard of such a thing in any other church or synagogue I've ever visited. If you become an ordained minister of Jehovah when you're baptized, then who has charge over you? What would happen if you were to ask, "Hey, what's going on with Brother and Sister B?" I can't imagine anyone being so intimidating that they could stop you with a glance! Is the atmosphere in the congregation that stifling that a stern look could prevent a question about a well-liked brother?

    Try putting on some old clothes and dropping by Brother B. Then tell him you're not dropping by in an official capacity, but that no one had heard from him. Also, ask grandma what she knows.

    Now I'm interested!

  • Diogenesister

    Me too...for heavans sake get Grandma drunk .....or something!

    As an aside isn't it interesting how everyone can be on such good terms with your nonJW grandma, married many years to your JW grandad, who has " rejected the truth" . I mean if she isn't a candidate for destruction at Armageddon I don't know who is!! Yet if your grandad whos slaved for the truth for years, a true believer, smoked a fag or something hes shunned completely and dead to all. How bizare a contrast. NB I don't believe any of it of course, but I mean from dubs point ofveiw, or should be.

  • nicolaou

    Not apostasy, he'd have been disfellowshipped. Not infidelity as your grandma says he did nothing wrong. You say he couldn't get custody of his son but don't mention that he and sister b are divorced, however the elders seem completely accommodating of this marital split.

    Lots of secrecy and unwillingness to talk suggests an uncommon taboo. My guess is he was caught cross dressing.

  • scary21

    What I want to know is how did the wife get the business ? Was it hers before they were married ?

    If the business was his then.......................................

    Could he be a transgender but hiding it and only his wife knows? Maybe she is blackmailing him and that is how she got all of the business.

    When he goes out he dresses like a man so grandma thinks he did nothing wrong. Well she isn't a JW so maybe she DOESN'T think he did nothing wrong even if she knows. Who knows !

    I know, I know I'm watching to much TV

  • pale.emperor

    My guess is he was caught cross dressing.

    Could he be a transgender but hiding it and only his wife knows? Maybe she is blackmailing him and that is how she got all of the business.

    No i don't think it was anything like that. They're divorced but it wasn't a scriptural divorce.

    Unfortunately, those who did know have either died, left or are reluctant to talk about it. I think if you ask they see it as "you're not supposed to ask why someone got DF'd" but he wasn't DF'd so it should be ok ground for conversation.
    Those who did find out either left, stepped down from their appointments are severely dropped in meeting attendance.

  • jookbeard
    could be a whole number of issues, there was one brother in our cong who got DF'ed some years back, I quite liked him, he had a great sense of humour and you could look at him and just by his facial expression he would make you laugh, he ended up being DF'ed about the time I was fading and not attending meetings much at all, one particular Sunday meeting I'd had enough after the talk and I noticed he was getting ready to leave as well, I caught up with him down the road and called out to him , I wanted to shake his hand and have a chat, he was'nt really wanting to chat, he bid me farewell and walked away, he did tell me that my father did sit on his JC but wouldn't elaborate any further, it was the last time I ever saw him, I'd heard he sold up and moved away with his jw wife who had stayed faithful to him and the org, the rumour was that he'd been having an affair. Fast forward over 20 years later and I catch up with a bro who was in my old cong and had been out for almost as long as me and we get talking about our old times in our old cong, he tells me this brother was arrested for exposing himself in a public park in front of young boys.
  • stillin
    I've been in several congregations when there were suicides. Taboo subject for conversation.
  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    If you really are looking for ANSWERS, what makes you think you will find them HERE?

    If the mysterious Brother B is still alive, look him up and seek a meeting with him. Buy him dinner. Ask him to tell you his story in his own words for the sake of posterity.

    There are SO MANY people I now wish I had talked with 30 years ago who are dead now, and my OUIJA board gets their messages all messed up; they can't even remember what their favorite color was.

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