Sorry for any confusion. My husband and I were dating prior to his getting disfellowshipped. We were at a point that we were broken up when it happened. We were in the same congregation and most of the people there remember him. We were very quiet about our relationship, as the rumor mill is strong in this congregation. No one knew that we were even friends (as I was new there), much less dating and I've confided in no one there that I am married.
Initially, I felt not telling anyone would make me dishonest. Which is why I've wondered if I should share with the elders. But on the flip side, I feel I owe no one an explanation for my life choices - only God, who knows my heart. I'm starting to see that I don't need the brothers approval of my decision. As I continue my research, I'm reminded that Jesus is the only mediator between God and mankind - not any elder-body or governing body. So I've grown more comfortable in my choice. However, I do have a few close longtime witness friends that I'd hate to lose contact with. I don't worry over my relationship with my mother, as she has always had doubts at the idea of shunning. I'm grateful too, that no one else in my family is a JW, and have been able to share my marriage with them.
Also, my husband has been quite wide awake. He has always been a strong reader of the bible and was troubled at some teachings prior to being disfellowshipped. He now has many versions of the bible that he studies, and although supportive of my continued activity with the congregation, he's hopeful that I wake up.
Its definitely happening, and I'm so appreciative of the support you all are providing me, and will hopefully continue to provide as I move forward on this course.
Thank you so much!