by Solzhenitsyn 13 Replies latest jw friends
Who was I to think that we would be left alone? It has been a dream for 2+ months. A few calls I let go to voicemail but now the wife and I are getting bombarded with text messages.
This isn't going to be easy.
Since we're not looking to throw a grenade into decades of relationships, text replies thus far have been..."thank you so much."
But I know what is currently curiosity and or outright concern will turn into an Inquisition.
Barf.
You can continue your fade and continue to play this game of deflecting and hiding... you also have the option of throwing the grenade and dealing with the aftermath.
It's a tough choice, but it is what you have to deal with
Just know this: if you don't want to respond, don't. You don't owe them anything. It's hard for me to take that kind of advice even as I'm giving it but it's something I've gotten better at and trust me, it helps.
Solz, 2 months ain't nothing brother. Give it time, till then deflect, deflect, deflect. Don't sweat it. They will give up. Some may come by, most wont and those who do will likely give up soon. Stay the course.
Is the CO visit due? That will ramp up their efforts to "re-activate" you.
Sounds like it's time to not keep your old number when you get a new phone...
It's not easy doing the slow fade. I did it. The only thing that helped me was a the lack of sacrifice the elders were able to make. They only offered to meet with my family and I on a Sunday afternoon after the meeting. I worked Sundays from 3:00PM to 11:00PM so I couldn't meet. I counter offered with Wednesday nights because I had Wednesdays off. They never accepted.
If you do reply to their text messages, don't reply immediately. Don't answer any questions just reply with "OK Thanks ! " or " I'll get back to ya' later".
Wait longer and longer between text messages and eventually don't reply at all.
This to shall pass.
It wont be long till they forget who you are.
Just as stated before, dont reply.
Wait longer and longer between text messages and eventually don't reply at all
Yup this is key. This is just the initial shock of not seeing you. During this phase, simply be vague and deflect. Things like "Been busy with work", "not feeling well", "lots going on now" or similar excuses are your friend.
In a few weeks it will die down and eventually stop.
Also, good chance that they will do the ol' POP IN on a Sunday morning before they give up. Be ready for this and plan for what you are going to say if you open the door. Again be vague and short.
