I think a word ought to be said, too, about how damaging the WT teaching is to the decent men in the organization. Over the years I was associated with countless men who were worn to a frazzle by the Society's requirement that they "exercise headship." They had demanding secular jobs and had to do their part in taking the lead in the family, in field service, in the congregation and at conventions. They were often away from their wives and families due to regular elders' meetings, meetings with the circuit and district overseers, committee hearings, Kingdom Ministry School and other special sessions. They were usually busy every week spending far more time than others in preparation for public talks and other meetings. They also had paper work to do in connection with their elder or ministerial servant positions. To fall behind in meeting any of these requirements led to criticism from others, not only from other elders, including the circuit overseer, but even from some women in the congregation as well, including their own wives in many cases. Wives generally tried to be understanding and made huge allowances. Many I've known were outstanding helpers of their husbands. Some men were great leaders mainly because of the initiative, brilliance and industriousness of their wives. Still, many wives would become exasperated because their husbands were "not taking the lead in the family," especially in conducting a "family Bible study," as they were so often reminded to do by the Society. Whether wives complained or not, husbands felt the heat when their own consciences condemned them for not doing enough. There is a lot of glory connected to being an elder or leader among JWs, but there is a huge price to pay in frustration, drained energy, health breakdowns, and sometimes in getting household bills paid on time.
Then there were those men who were not serving as elders or ministerial servants. Some I knew were honest with themselves and felt inadequate for dealing with all the pressures they saw other men enduring. But they felt the cruel brunt of hints that they were not real men or that they were lazy or selfish. I knew some such men who had wives who were called "suffering sisters," wives who seemed to suffer shame because they had husbands who were weak or who were not willing to do their full share with other men in the congregation.
JW society demands that its men do everything they can to please everybody, something that simply can't be done. I, for one, am grateful to be free of that incessantly crazy treadmill.
Herk