by Chickenlips 20 Replies latest jw friends
Just wanted to say hey. I’m in Australia. I’ve just woken up… I’m disfellowshipped and finding it hard without family although I do have one sister who isn’t interested in the truth, so that’s good… at least I can talk to her.
Basically wondering if people know of anything happening in Australia and more specifically Brisbane re meetings/online groups etc.
Thank you,
Phil
Congratulations. Count your blessings on having ANY family that you grew up with.
It took 16 years to have anyone in my family to talk to. I helped get my nephew out.
Welcome to the forum, chicken lips. You are in the right place. We are ex JWs who have suffered under the Watchtower yoke, in some fashion or other, some had it worse than others. This is an English speaking forum, so most of us here are from the US, England, and Australia. Please tell us your story, but no specifics.
Welcome, Chickenlips! We are here to listen to your stories. We've been through similar experiences. The moment after waking up is very hard and can get very lonely but... it gets a lot better in time! You will get to enjoy freedom and enjoy living.
Hugs from OND, just a few thousand miles away
Congratulations and Welcome to the forum Phil! Happy for the fact that you have at least one family member you can share with.
Hope to hear more about your awakening.
My advice: start to reach out to people around you and getting to know them. It's not just the loss of family and friends that hurts us when we finally get away from the organization; it's also the indoctrination that causes us to push non-JWs away. Get to know people, make friendships based on more than just religious upbringing, and keep reminding yourself that they're ordinary folk, just like you. It can be a huge help in dealing with the sense of loneliness and loss.
If you are still religious and believe in God, there may be a local Christian church that can help you to ground yourself by providing friends and a small but supportive social community. The JWs really do warp our sense of social structure, which makes it painful to leave. But once you have a support group, life can be very enjoyable! Good luck.
Welcome!
One piece of advice.
Make every effort to stop referring to the WT religion as "the truth." That lingo is part of their indoctrination process. They want you to believe that if you don't agree with them 100%, you're an opposer of the truth.
Someone can be very interested in the truth and very devoted to seeking the truth (the real truth) without having any interest at all in "the truth" (what the WT calls the truth).
In fact, I have an XJW friend who shocks other XJWs by asking, "So, how long were you in the... lie?" Of course, the final word of the question is the exact opposite of what they expect.
It kind of smacks them upside the head and reminds they of how programmed they were as JWs.
@Chickenlips: Play the long game here. That is, keep a sense of perspective. It's hard now, in the short term, because your entire life may have been built around the religion. Short term pain is the pressure they apply to make you "sorry" so that you return. However, as you move on with your life, it gets easier, the feeling of exile fades. And then, you are free in the long term. You can build things that matter to you. You can have long term satisfaction, and you aren't wasting your life and time on the WT any longer.
Also, for those family that are shunning you - they have a choice. It's their choice. Don't let them tell you that it's your fault they can't talk to you (another manipulation). It's all them - they have agency.
Wow I’m overwhelmed by so many people interested in what I posted.
Thank you all.
In relation to how I woke up -
I watched a video my sister (then non JW) sent me that listed 19 things this ex-brother didn’t believe… I found myself shocked at some of them and clicked on more videos and then more videos and then even more videos… in the end (60 hours app. later) I found myself starting to believe that I had been lied to! And I was and still am absolutely devastated that I spent almost 50 years in a religion based on some fundamental lies!!
I became suicidal for a while and quite desperate actually because I didn’t know were to go next… my whole world dropped out from under me…
i bought the 1914 generations book, I stayed up late online researching every single doctrine to be sure… so I’m actually pretty exhausted in mind and body 😂
I did find this amazing group online that has international meetings on a Sunday and a Wednesday night meeting… this has quite literally saved my life (Borean Pickets is the name).
So now I’m looking for other online groups etc…
I’m just starting to find some equilibrium… some balance…
Cheers
Hi ChickenLips -
Welcome. It's nice to have you join us and even nicer that you told us a little about your current situation.
Look around a bit. There is a wealth of information on this site.
For other online groups, have you looked at MeetUp.com?
There might be something near you and in-person is better than online.
If you are in SoCal, there is an Interfaithless Beach Party next weekend (ex-Mormons, ex-JW's, ex-Muslims) all sorts of people who have been isolated from family and lifelong friends because they no longer believe the doctrines they were taught.
For online (and occasional in-person) here is a link to a LosAngeles group that is actually attended by people from all over: Los Angeles Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Meetup (Los Angeles, CA) | Meetup
If you feel comfortable telling your general location, you can start a new post and see if there is anyone who might want to meet for coffee. It's been done alot.
Each summer, a group of us meet in South Lake Tahoe, CA for weekend camping (or cabin-ing) trip. Our next Tahoe-fest is July 2023.
Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Aude Sapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)
