by Rick Aust 15 Replies latest jw friends
How would you discribe a true friend? And do you think you ever had any Real Freinds while you were there? I think its hard to have a real freind if you need to be careful about everything you say and do. And just in case you do did have a True Freind, suddenly after an announcement from the platform that this True Freind has being DFed for something, you can't talk to him no more, and your not allowed to ask WHY either.
regards Rick
True friends in the WTS? Hmm.. let me see. When you make a mistake they all gossip about you. If you leave the religion you have the plague (there by more reason for gossip), tell you that you should go kill yourself and get it over with if you are leaving (ok so only one JW said that).. tell you that they don't even know you when they hear you are on this site, this apostate site and tell you firmly GOODBYE as in your relationship is now completely over. Yeah. I have no true friends in the WTS. Everyone of them turned on me only because I began to have doubts. What is that? Not true friends.
NOPE.....I have not had any contact with anyone I knew after I left. I had afriend that got DF'd and I would still go visit him and talk to him. But when I left, it was like I never existed. Heck your family is expected to act like you never existed.
I believe that is why I am so dysfunctional in relationships with anybody today. After 22 years of being expected to just turn you back on anybody at any time, you start not to get to close to anybody. I have friends now that call me up if they don't hear from me for awhile. Never happened in the JDUD's. Only thing I heard from them was "Your not getting enough time in, you should be doing more, ect. ect.".
If your a JW you will know who your "real" friends are if you are if your ever reproved, DF'd or DA'd. They will flee you like rats fleeing a sinking ship.
Heatmiser
Well i certainly thought I did,one especially we went on holidays kids grew up went everywhere,I was the loyal one as it turned out,she was the first one who attacked me verbally,told me i was satans person,showed me HATE for questioning the org:She had been dsfd twice yet i broke the rules and gave her help.she is still a loyal JW was re-instated.........FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS..........who needs them...........she told me I was no longer her friend why?because i spoke out against the WT.
no
My husband but no one else. I posted this on another thread but most of it fits. Friends
Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a
Friend will stand by you even when you are wrong (or thinks you're wrong)...
A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
The sad thing is that when I read that poem a couple years ago I thought I had friends who fit that..
but I never thought about the fact that IF I ever doubted the WTS, how they would react.. and how the picture would change.
Well, if I judge my friendships by the above poem, then the only JW friends I have left are my mother and brother. I can honestly say that I had a few JW's friends that I would have stuck with through thick and thin, but they would have none of it after I was df'd, so I guess that I'll just say they were aquantances and we were drawn together for no other reason other than the fact that we were outcasts in the the real world because of our religion.
As far as friends go, I have my wife and some of my family and my 2 dogs and that's it. I used to be quite the social witness many years ago with friends everywhere and something going on every night and weekend. But those things changed after I got df'd twice, and although I never would have thought it possible, I don't mind not having all those aquantances now. The peace and quite is kind of nice.
I love that poem. I printed it out and am going to give it to my JW neighbor. She tells me she has witness friends, but I notice that whenever there has been a desperate need in her life, not one of them has been there. She admits hurting over that.
bebu
Yes I do have a true friend I met as duds. We were in each others weddings. Shared the birth of our first children. Kept in touch for almost twenty years and when he started to fade I stayed his friend because loyalty would sanction nothing less. When my life fell apart he was there for me. And he helped me see the truth about the "truth"! He even told me about this site. He is a loving father, gentle husband, and wise friend. I do not know how my life would have been without knowing this person but I am certain I would be a lesser man had we never met. Rod S. has taught me how to be a friend and he is a tough act to follow! Maverick
