The Last Supper...... again.

by Nosferatu 10 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nosferatu

  My dad is going for a biopsy next Friday. The doctor told him that there is a slight chance that if they bugger up the surgery, he'll bleed to death. My dad is making a mountain out of a molehill again. This is the second "last supper" we've had, the first one was when he had all his breathing problems.

  This is all just so rediculous. He wants to be with his family one more time in case he dies. I sure as hell can't tell you that he's close to his family. He's created so much distance between me and him over the past 7 years, and even more between him and my sister. I'm not even going to touch on his brothers & sisters. My family is retarded.
• 

  concerned mama

  Nos,

  Even if your Dad drives you nuts, you care about him. I hope his biopsy turns out fine.
• 

  gumby

  He's created so much distance between me and him over the past 7 years, and even more between him and my sister. I'm not even going to touch on his brothers & sisters. My family is retarded.

  Nosferatu,

  Boy can I relate to your last words above.

  Sometimes it's hard to decide whether or not to hate them or love them. I guess I choose to love them.....especially if it's an aging dub parent. They only live once, and so do memories of your life with them. Dubs are screwed in the head.........consider that in your last years with your pop. If they become such assholes you can't deal with it.......then don't.

  Gumby

  Gumby
• 

  ChimChim

  Nos:

  Everyones father drives them nuts, Mine drives me nuts...lol! But deep down no matter how much they hurt you, they are still you parents and you will still love them. Just respect his wishes just incase, you never know what will happen.

  C.C
• 

  tink

  This is all just so rediculous. He wants to be with his family one more time in case he dies. I sure as hell can't tell you that he's close to his family. He's created so much distance between me and him over the past 7 years, and even more between him and my sister.

  Boy, can i relate. seems like practically everyone has a nut for a father these days. i ran into my father at a restaurant the other night. it was the first time i had seen him in maybe four years. we sat at a table right next to his. he never said ONE WORD to me, didn't even acknowledge my presence. and he's not even a practicing JW!! just a rotten human being.
• 

  Netty

  We have so many similarities with our parents. Thats exactly what my parents do, both of them, everytime there is some new health crisis. Last time, my father discovered he had diabetes, he gathered us all together for the "this could be our last family discussion". I feel like they're trying to guilt me back, using their health problems, to coming to the meetings. RETARDED is right!
• 

  Nosferatu

  But deep down no matter how much they hurt you, they are still you parents and you will still love them.

  I have no clue how to respond to this. "Love" is such a strong word. He hasn't called me since I moved 2 months ago. I have no desire to call him - this is not a hate thing, I just have nothing interesting to talk to him about, and I don't care to get "suggestions" on how to live my life.

  Apparently he's getting more and more agitated because my wedding's getting closer. Me and my fiance are still trying to guess if he'll show up or not........ or die from the biopsy LOL!
• 

  Panda

  Nos, This is a guy thing. Your upcoming marriage reminds Dad that he's getting older everyday and soon he'll die. The fact that he talks about bleeding to death is like a whimper for some attention and, yes, that strong word LOVE. So go ahead and have another last supper. If nothing else you'll never feel guilty. And someday when you find you do love your Dad and he's been dead for years, well you'll be glad you accomodated his insecurity.
• 

  RAYZORBLADE

  Nosferatu: I know we've e-mailed each other about 'our' fathers.

  My father, has been dead a little over 2 years.

  I did not hate him, but I certainly did not love him. And I am not obligated to feel differently about him.

  Honestly; speaking from my own experiences: I'm glad my father is done here.

  Go with your 'gut' feelings, and do what you feel comfortable with, or do nothing at all. You'll know what's right for you, because you've lived with him, and all the 'crap'.

  Just because my father was dying, it did not change him. When he died, he was merely the same form, without any life force. I did not miss him. I'm glad he's gone.

  I know many of the posters here mean well. They are so kind and good hearted, but some of them, simply don't know our fathers, and how their actions and deeds permanently affected us.

  Cause and effect.

  Just be happy and content with your decision Ben. Think for yourself, and don't let yourself be fooled.

  My sincerest respect and thumbs up to you, in whatever it is you plan to do, or not to do.
• 

  Lady Lee

  (((Nos)))

  I think few people understand the depths of abuse that some of us go through. I didn't hate my father. But I had no love for him either.

  Would I have liked to have a father I could love? Sure but I didn't get one of those.

  Based on what you have said here previously about him, his request sounds like another opportunity to try to guilt you back under his control. He may very well think once you are married he will lose all chance at controlling you. Your fiance introduces an unknown into the family dynamics that he has no idea how to deal with.

  As angry and hate filled these men are who bully all those around them, your father is probably terrified of dying alone. But he has made his bed. You need to do what is right for you and your fiance. Go but only if you think there is something for you to gain and learn about you (even if it is only to walk out if he gets abusive).