Try Being Kind...It Actually Feels Good!

by EyesOpenHeartBroken 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • EyesOpenHeartBroken

    Let me start by saying that this forum has been helpful to me in many ways. I haven't gotten involved in much commenting and I am not very assertive by nature so I've steered away from participating in debates. But I have read threads often and had a sense of community. Whether I agree or not, I do enjoy hearing different POVs and have learned much.

    That being said, on the forum, in the last couple months there seems to have been many instances of disrespect, name calling, and flat out hatefulness. I'm a mature adult with some strong opinions and a sense of humor. But I feel compelled to point out that not all who post here are in a place of safety physically or emotionally.

    I understand that some of you have it all figured out and that's great! 👍🏻

    I know some of you are pissed and I totally get that--wanted to put my fist through the wall a few times!😡

    Many of you are hurting and I'm so sorry you are in pain--hugs and love to you!💔❤️

    There are many supportive and kind posters--thank you. I feel the love!

    I realize that many here have nothing in common except having our lives interfered by WBTS. And even then, we all have a different story to tell. Everyone is at a different point in dealing with that.

    So I thought it could be really cool if we could all just have a little empathy or at least basic respect for one another. Keep your strong opinions and convictions--and, guess what, other people can have theirs. And if someone lays out their hurt, it is no one's right to invalidate that feeling.

    Bottom line, obviously people of the forum can and will do what they want. But if I may suggest, try some kindness--it feels good!

    And that concludes this evening's local

    Take care good people of the forum.

    Peace out.


  • Simon

    Well said.

    Occasionally some posters develop animosity for each other over time just as other become friends. Maybe they just disagree on some fundamental issues and can't look beyond things and we live in a climate of escalation and extremes. Someone says something the wrong way or someone takes something the wrong way and boom - someone is determined to not let things go, show them up or whatever and snide remarks start.

    It's harder to fix than outright fights because it's harder to call out. We can just ask people to "play nice" and remind everyone to look beyond petty differences and not become obsessed and certainly, not to plot with others to purposefully try to cause trouble for others.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once
    The taking of offense is with the foolish ones.. or something like that. Its just not worth the energy to be petty. I am not afraid of asserting my opinion but in the end that's all it is. Put away the clubs everyone and lets just do the warm fuzzy waltz. No sarcasm intended.
  • Lieu

    We should remember people here have come from a place where they can't express an opinion. Now here, they simply don't know how and are still stuck in 'everyone must agree' mode.

    Discussions should not be arguments. All points of view are valid.

  • BeautifulMind
    Great post. If we all agree on everything, there is no way to see a different viewpoint. Disagreements are ok. But to your point, getting nasty and rude really is pointless. When I have those kind of comments on my threads, I just scroll right past it. Not worth my time to justify my thoughts and feelings. Now if it's just a 'I don't agree with that' type comment, let's discuss. We can always agree to disagree.
  • wannaexit
    Great thoughts!!.
  • dubstepped
    JWs breed narcissism, a hallmark of which is being unable to accept that others don't think and feel exactly like you do. Every discussion is about winning, and winning is about everyone seeing things as you do. Leaving the Witnesses behind doesn't equate to leaving the narcissism behind. Perspective taking is a beautiful thing. I've had to work hard to leave my own narcissm behind, and I see it on here frequently. Being kind certainly is the better course. Nice post!
  • stillin

    Don't call me Taterhead. You'll hurt my peelings!

    really, I told a poster who is leaving the forum that he has been good company and I got a thumbs-down for it! Whoever gave me the thumbs down can stick their thumb... somewhere else!

  • Je.suis.oisif


    Great post. Thank you. You could have been reading my thoughts when you penned it.

    I'm at the point in my life were I don't have any inclination to devise or enter great debates. We can all acquire knowledge etc and express this on said forum. But I've since learned that there are 8 billion+ different perspectives on reality and what to do with acquired knowlege.

    I've felt I should contribute great posts ( well they would be to me in my wildest imaginings ). But I can't get my mojo going. I spent 32+yrs studying with the WBT$, and I cant be a#$3★.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    I have looked back at some of my posts and realized that the words I used at the time could have been chosen more carefully. When I read a harsh sounding post or comment, I figure that this may be the case as well.

    As is often the case in life, it's best to err on the side of kindness and not be quick to take offense. (I learned that the hard way myself )

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