marriage = jw + jw

by HapEMelissa 34 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • HapEMelissa

    does the marriage of an active jw HAVE to be to another active and practicing jw?

  • little witch
    little witch


    Well, they certainly encourage intra-Jw marriage.

    This helps to increase statistics of "believers".

    Welcome to the board, BTW

  • HapEMelissa

    ya, i know they "encourage" it... but i spent a couple hours on the watchtower website last night and found not a single thing that emphasized being "equally yoked." all any of the articles said about finding a husband or wife was that they should have good morals, be responsible, etc. but if jw's arent allowed to celebrate worldly holidays because they would be with worldly family members, then i am surprised they aren't too persistant on keeping their members married to non-worldly spouses.

  • DanTheMan

    The Watchtower website is not a very good source of information, it is pretty whitewashed.

    Somebody ought to be along with some quotes from the WT publications about this subject. Several times a year, via a Watchtower article or one of the various other mind-control methods Watchtower Inc. employs, JW's are strongly "encouraged" to marry in the faith.

    One scripture that is cited or quoted ad nauseum in Watchtower publications is 1 Corinthians 15:33 - "Bad Associations Spoil Useful Habits". It is always brought up in the context of not getting too close with "worldly" people, including dating or marriage prospects.

  • little witch
    little witch

    I see what you mean.

    The society has many rules and regulations that are "unpalatable" to interested persons who are new.

    This is one of the many subjects that will not be covered or addressed to newly interested ones.

    There are lots of good websites that will inform you of their ultimate agenda. Freeminds. Org is a good one.

    There are many others also. The "official site" lacks continuity of their beliefs, so be sure to investigate. They love nothing more than to hook someone who only investigates their side.

  • petespal2002

    As an "active" jw I married a non-active but baptized man, and because of his not being a "proper" jw was not allowed to marry in a kh, and was strongly encouraged to think twice about it.

  • mizpah

    Yes, we were constantly reminded in the congregation not to be "unevenly yoked" with an unbelieving mate. Talks frequently mentioned how difficult this situation would be for an active JW. While articles may have been vague about the subject, the talks in the congregation were not. And anyone marrying "outside the truth" was viewed as immature and weak.

    One has to understand that not all important information was from articles. A good example of this was the stress on the 1975 date. While only a few articles suggested its importance, the talks left no doubt about how the Society felt about it. District and Circuit overseers emphasized it in their talks at assemblies. In turn, congregation overseers carried the message to the congregations. Everyone knew and anticipated Armageddon in 1975. But the "official" view in the literature could later be stated as a denial.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Welcome to the board, HapEMelissa.

    Our family is not Jehovah's Witness. My teenage daughter had a sweet JW boyfriend for 2 years, so your situation is one that our family learned a lot about. What the Watchtower puts on their website for public consumption is very different than what they say to their members. Remember, it doesn't matter if you are a great, moral person and Christian, you are considered a non-believer.

    Here are some quotes and I have lots more information. Feel free to contact me at the email address in my profile.

    The Watchtower - May 15, 2001

    "Jehovah's direction for Christians is very clear: 'Marry only in the lord.' (1 Corinthians 7:39) Christian parents and their children may be tested in this regard. How so? Young people may wish to get married, but available partners may be lacking within the congregation. At least that is how it seems. There may be fewer available men than women in a certain locality, or their may be no one deemed suitable in the area. A young man who is not a dedicated member of the congregation may show interest in a young Christian woman (or vice versa), and there is a pressure to compromise on the standards that Jehovah has set. Under such circumstances, it would be good to reflect on the example of Abraham. One way that he maintained his fine relationship with God was by seeing to it that his son Isaac married a true worshipper of Jehovah. Isaac did the same in the case of his son Jacob. This took effort by all involved, but it pleased God and resulted in his blessing.-Genesis 28:1-4."

    *** w82 3/15 p. 31 Questions from Readers ***

    Finally, in the Christian Greek Scriptures God repeated the counsel: Do not marry someone who is not serving the Lord. The inspired counsel was not, ?If you find a clean, decent person, it is permissible to court and marry that individual with the hope that he or she may eventually become a Christian.? Rather, God?s Word clearly says: "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers." (2 Corinthians 6:14) To marry someone who is not already a baptized Christian would be to disregard that serious counsel.

    Because Jehovah?s Witnesses as a people view this counsel as wise and serious, they do not want to contribute to anyone?s going contrary to it. For example, if because of weakness a spiritual brother or sister began to court or date a person who is not a witness of Jehovah, the others in the congregation would hardly want to encourage that by socializing with the unbeliever. They agree with the Bible that the non-Christian is not a good associate. (1 Corinthians 15:33) But they should continue to display interest in their brother or sister. They might be able to offer tactful and encouraging admonition to help the straying Christian to avoid the sad path that Solomon followed.?Compare 2 Thessalonians 3:14, 15.

    But what if a Witness planned to disregard God?s advice and to marry someone who was not a baptized Witness? Unless there was some exceptional reason, brothers in the congregation would not want to solemnize such an unequal yoking. Nor would the Kingdom Hall be available for the wedding. It is available for marriages of two baptized Christians who are marrying "only in the Lord." Or it might sometimes be used by two persons who are regularly serving God as part of the congregation and who will soon be baptized. By not allowing the Kingdom Hall to be used by a Witness who plans to ?become unevenly yoked with an unbeliever,? the congregation elders can underscore the seriousness of God?s counsel to marry "only in the Lord."

    I found it very helpful to read 2 JW published books, "Questions Young People Ask" and "Secrets of Family Happiness" for insight into the rules that JWs have been raised to live by and are expected to follow.

    Also check out

    I guess the really hard thing to remember is that there can be a really terrific person who is JW, who you love, but if you want different things out of life, and want to live completely different lives, it will be really difficult to have happy marriage. Love is not nearly enough.

  • liquidsky

    Welcome HapEmelissa!

    I was a babtized jW in good standing with the congregation when I married a non-jw in 1996. I was not Df'd or reproved but I was 'marked' . I was not allowed to be married in the KH and my family was encouraged to not attend or to have anything to do with my wedding. After I was married, I was no longer invited to congregation get-togethers and I lost all my witness friends. So even though you will not be officially DF'd you will be treated as such.

  • HapEMelissa

    liquid sky...

    and do you regret your choice in a spouse? i mean, due to the religious barrier?

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