Dating as a Jehovahs witness has made me PIMO

by Addison0998 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Londo111

    I’m surprised that dating as a JW did not wake me up. It involved a whole bunch of drama.

    The organization has written and unwritten rules on dating, chaperones, group dates, never riding in the car alone, and so forth. Technically, breaking these doesn’t trigger a judicial committee and sometimes some young JWs seem to skirt these rules entirely.

    But the culture of JWs is such that makes dating very difficult. Not only the elders, but the whole community seems to be involved in the process. Some matches seem approved and fast tracked. Otherwise, dating is an uphill battle.

    In Dubtown, there are eyes and ears everywhere and even if you play by the rules, your activities will be noted, talked about and questioned at every turn.

  • sparrowdown

    Try to gently nudge your boyfriend awake if you want but honestly just make your plans to fade it won't get any better married to PIMI JW. You have your whole life ahead of you don't waste it playing this cult's culty games.

  • stuckinarut2

    Oh wow...That is so appalling.

    In addition to already offered wise advice, I can just say "The only power they have over you is that which you allow"

    So do not be drawn into the stupid games the Elders try and play. If you and your boyfriend are comfortable with your relationship, then there is no need to allow anyone else to pry into it!

    Be happy, confident and keep your dignity.

    And as others have said, don't try and wake him up by dumping huge facts on him. Just slowly ask questions about things and let him be the "spiritual man" and research things...then slowly show him the things you have found....

    But I will also say one thing : Are you prepared to envision your life without him IF he doesn't wake up? You have your whole life ahead of you - don't get tied into the organization and have to live a will kill you.

  • pale.emperor

    Hmm... it almost sounds like a cult doesn't it?

    Following you around? Taking photographic evidence to convict you? Elders in a backroom confronting a young woman?

    Have a think. Which person in the picture below is imitating Jesus?

  • steve2


    Welcome to a venue where you can talk without your motives being scrutinised and your need to talk this out being muzzled.

    Park any notion of leaving this organization for the time being. Time is very much on your side. Deal with what is in front of you - other decisions can come later.

    This experirnce is teaching an extremely helpful lesson: learning to think for your self and reach your own conclusions free from the influence of men who value obeying a religious institution over anything else - especially all the rules they dream up to control normal human behaviour.

    Consider this: JW organization is more likely to investigate innocent couples-behaviour than allegations of child sexual abuse where they insist on the two-witness rule. Surely this alone stamps JW organization as a man-made religion and hypocritical at that.

    After its long years of criticising churches of Christendom over child sexual abuse scsndals, it now faces growing numbers of allegations of its own - but chooses to turn an arrogant ear. JW organization has taken hypocrisy to a new low - and disgusting - level.

    Take your time. Do your research. Remember what JWs (used to) say to householders: “If you have the truth, you have nothing to fear from scrutinising your religion. And if you don’t have the truth, you owe it to yourself to scrutinise your religion.”

    JWs need to take their own advice.

  • Lost in the fog
    Lost in the fog

    Do you know a funny thing about elders insisting that single people who are dating be chaperoned? They have no problem if a single brother collects a car load of sisters to take them out in the ministry or to the Kingdom Hall, even though as he drops them back home he might eventually find himself alone in his car with a single sister.

    But if the 2 started dating, suddenly a 3rd person is required to be there with the two of them. Isn't that crazy!?

  • floridaborn

    Lost in the fog, I went to a totally different hall. A young brother was counciled because he offered to pick up an 80 year old widow on his way to the meeting and made no arrangements to have a third person in the car

  • TD
    a very conservative, controlling, sexist congregation.

    Are there any other kinds? Or are some simply worse in this respect than others?

  • zeb

    with elders like that and their made up rules they will be being fed with information by elderette wives who have a unhealthy interest in everyone's else's business. These have been called the 'dragon class'.

    There is probably no-one on this site and by extension multiplied many times who has not come under the 'gun sights' of such elders and their chief informants their wives. These make up the 'dragon-class' and they have no hobby, no sport, no creative inlet or outlet. They live to run other peoples lives.

    In our early days we left one such a cong and went to another due to the gossip mill. You are fortunate to have cottoned on to the realities of wt life.

  • the girl next door
    the girl next door

    I find it interesting that based on age congregation elders are more aggressive in monitoring courtship. Rarely if ever are 30 something’s policed. I think it boils down to bullying capabilities. Younger kids are going to cower under pressure. Seasoned by age will simply tell elders and their stepford wives to fuck off. What is ironic is that half the body of elders is either molesting children or having an extramarital affair with a bored housewife.

    Sad that youth is wasted on the young and they are too stupid to see the older hypocrites around them are destroying their lives with the tools a high mind control cult trains it’s minions to coerce them.

    Dont be stupid. Get out. Even if it’s alone. It means your life.

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