Living a Lie

by thereishope 21 Replies latest members private

  • thereishope
    thereishope

    Well, my newfound friends, the s**t has hit the fan around here. And I'm looking for some help in figuring things out. My husband and I had a "discussion" the other night, got very heated, no one got any sleep that night and the next morning he takes off on his motorbike threatening suicide because he would rather die than live with an "apostate witch" and in any event he doesn't want to live on a paradise earth without me (because I'm sure not going to make it!) I don't know how to write this so it makes any sense, because when he gets like this he doesn't make any sense. I'm not looking for sympathy or judgement or advice on this area of my life, because unless you've been in on this from the start 25 years ago, you wouldn't have a clue. I said some things I wish I hadn't, but I felt backed into a corner, he lashed out at me and I lashed back. We're somewhat better now, having had a more civil conversation last night.

    From what he said just a couple of hours ago, I think he thinks we straightened some things out, that we're now "good". He wishes! I'm just taking a breather, taking a step back to see where I can go from here so it doesn't get to that point again. He gets so scared - he can barely stand this life without the paradise hope. He promised his mother on her death bed that he'd see her again in paradise, that she'd be young and healthy and beautiful again, and that he'd take her for a ride in a canoe. I can't try to wrench that away from him. As I've written before, I've known him with the hope and I've known him without the hope when he was disfellowshipped, and he really needs it to cling to.

    I am going to get around to my topic title of "Living a Lie", but more of an idea of what I'm looking for would be good. I have quite a bit more to write, but I'm running out of time, my private time will be interrupted soon, and I don't know how to save a draft so I can continue later. So, I'll post this post and continue with one entitled "Part 2" I guess. Just for now, thanks so much for listening. There really is no one else to talk to.

  • Ding
    Ding

    Very sorry you're going through all this.

    I won't try to offer any advice.

    Just know that there are people here who understand and care.

  • MarkofCane
    MarkofCane

    Yes..we do understand.

  • Jolted Awake
    Jolted Awake

    Hello Thereishope, I was born and raised in the Watchtower Org. Both my parents had hope for surviving into the "New World Order" but their hope for this has been dashed for they are now both dead from age related diseases.

    I wish that I had gotten my eyes opened before they died so that I could have helped them. (Though I believe my mom would have accepted it better than my dad who brought us all into this Org.) What your husband needs to do is to do a personal private and prayerful study of God's Word without any Watchtower material influence. Turning to God for help for a clearer understanding is the FIRST step in learning the real truth concerning the WTS.

    It would be good for him to review what Jesus said at Matthew 18:20:

    "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

    This shows that Christians do not need a large Organization in order to be saved. The early Christians met in small groups in homes, and sometimes it may have been only a family. Christ, through the Holy Spirit, leads God's people and they are everywhere. (Many scattered)

    The Samaritan woman, when speaking with Jesus, was wondering where a person should worship God by saying the following:

    “Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.”

    Jesus answered her by saying this:

    “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers."

    Jesus realized that the temple era was about over and a new way to worship had come. So you see, what Jesus was saying is that we can worship God anywhere, because Christians can do so through the Holy Spirit. So again, we don't need to go to a certain kingdom Hall or church in order to worship God.

    Does your husband *trust* God? If so, then why would he fear "making sure of all things"? As Paul encouraged Christians to do?

    The problem is the teaching of the Watchtower Society. Didn't Jesus encourage his followers to pray for "God's kingdom *to come*? What makes your husband believe that Christs kingdom will not be on earth? Revelation shows that the "City of God" heavenly Jerusalem. (spiritual Jerusalem) comes HERE to the earth and then it is said that God dwells WITH mankind and He will be their God and they will be His people. Review again Revelation 21 and compare with the prophecy concerning this as found at Isaiah 65. The whole chapter is talking about the New Jerusalem being here on the earth.

    My mom came "into the truth" because she also hoped for a paradise earth as well as longed for it like your husband. What your husband does not understand is that the Watchtower has a long history of not getting their doctrines right and this is why they change them so often. So why should he trust them when they teach that Christ's kingdom will forever be UP in heaven when the Scriptures doesn't teach that?

    Psalms 110:2 shows that Christ will rule "in the midst of his enemies*. And that "he will judge *among the nations*.

    Remember that in Jesus sermon on the mount one of the nine happinesses was this:

    "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall *inherit the earth*.

    And this message of hope corresponds to what was prophesied at Psalms 37:11:

    "But the humble will *inherit the land*And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity." I also like Psalms 37:18-40 because it shows that our trust and hope should be in God who will reward the righteous and those who have put their trust in Him.

    So where should our trust be? In God? Or in men? The Governing Body admits that they are not inspired and that they are only imperfect men. But we have God's Word and the help of the Holy Spirit to teach us.

    (Yes, the GB have claimed the same thing and they are always encouraging us to read and study God's Word, yet though many JW do this, they still cling to the Organization for salvation putting more faith and trust in the Organization and what they teach than in God and they sometimes contradict what the Scriptures teach.

    . Besides, their great error is that they claim to be God's channel of communication while making false doctrines that they say God GAVE them and then later change them.. We know that God does not give false doctrine. Nor is God happy with anyone who claims to speak for Him and teach things that God did not give them. Nor did God ever give them this authority. (They claim that God, through Christ gave them this authority but they lied.)

    Your husband should know that the first Watchtower which was published in 1879 was announcing that Christ had begun to rule in 1874 and that they did not change this teaching until 1930. In 1930 they switched the date for Christ's invisible *presence* to 1914. (Yes in 1914-1919 they were still believing *and teaching* that he had returned previously in 1874.

    Your husband needs to realize that the WTS is in error for teaching that there are TWO hopes. Just as Ephesians 4:4-5 says; there is ONE hope. The one hope for the righteous and the punishment for the wicked. See again Psalms 37:28-40

    I''m sharing what I have come to see since having put my trust in our Heavenly Father and I no longer have fear of the Organization, nor do I trust what they teach. I have come to see that they are blind guides leading the blind. Hope this post helps.

    A person cannot go wrong putting all their trust in God and Christ and in trusting God's Word. God rewards those who love Him. Why should anyone who loves God and His son possibly think that they would destroy them just because they no longer trust in an organization of men who claim to be something they're not?

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    My alcoholic, abusive, chain smoking father said he didn't want to live on a paradise earth without my mother, who could give Snow White a run for her money. Hopefully things will chill out. Tell him that nothing needs to be settled right now. Let him focus on something else for a while.

  • Jolted Awake
    Jolted Awake

    Your husband can still realize his hope of being in paradise with his mom, and he does not have to depend upon pleasing the Watchtower Organization in order to obtain it.

    The Catholic Church also claims to be God's Organization for salvation as well as the Mormons who claim to have 12 apostles which they fear they need to obey, but just because they CLAIM to be God's Organization, does their assumptions make it true? Anyone can claim anything but where is the evidence or proof of their claim?

    What proof does the WT Society or Governing Body have to prove that God is using them or is "God's Organization"? This is why your husband really needs to do his own research and examine his own religion.

    Here is a Scripture that shows that the Israel of God *cannot be numbered*, The Governing Body teach that only the 144,000 are the true Israel of God.

    "Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be like the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured or numbered. And in the place where it was said to them, “You are not my people,” it shall be said to them, “Children of the living God.” Hosea 1:10

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    ...or that the bible stated promise of a new world of a paradise earth is ancient mythological folklore based in fiction, nice as a suggestion such as it is.

    Perhaps that's too much truth, certainly isn't a reason to commit suicide or break up a marriage. How about some intellectual maturity.
  • JRK
    JRK

    I don't know what his problem is!

    I always liked apostate witches.

    JK

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    I always liked apostate witches.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfZxWqPShJE

    Sorry, couldn't resist. But seriously, I cannot fathom what you're going through now. Even my dub at some point had doubts and was about to become a deist or even an atheist until somehow my own departure from Christianity caused her to double down.

    Sometimes it is best to let your loved ones have their delusions. All the best to you.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen
    As I've written before, I've known him with the hope and I've known him without the hope when he was disfellowshipped, and he really needs it to cling to.

    When your husband is an active JW, he hopes for paradise, and assumes he gets there.

    When he was disfellowshipped, he still believed in paradise to come, and was sad and depressed he wouldn't make it (but his mother would) because only active JWs get there.

    But, there are two more alternatives:

    Many people believe they will be rewarded by God in heaven or paradise or nirvana or whatever without obeying the Governing Body. It is very well possible to show someone how not true JWdom is without taking away their faith in God and hope for a divine reward. I think 'In search of Christian freedom' by ex-GB member Ray Franz could help there?

    Your husband can have his hope without the cult...

    Also, many people don't believe in paradise or heaven at all. I am one of those. My whole life I told myself that if I wouldn't have the hope for paradise, I could probably just as well kill myself because life would be pointless in that case. I looked forward to meeting my first child in resurrection. But after realizing this life is all we have, I'm not miserable at all. I'm not missing out on something, as many DFed think they do. There is no reward I'm not getting...

    Good luck to you!



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