For the many years I was mentally " in " the congregation, I equated the organisation as interchangeable with the persona of Jehovah, in effect whatever the organisation said or thought, that was what Jehovah thought and that was what Jehovah said.... It was that simple.
So when I found out the TTATT and the cynical moves of the organisation over the years,including 1975 , the donation arrangements, the United Nations, etc I was devastated and thought " where's Jehovah in all of this?"
The God who I'd poured my heart out to on many occasions and who I thought was silently listening and hearing my pleas ..... Was not there ,
I found that people had hijacked the idea of God to control other people .
if there was a God he would not back this organisation because of what it's doing to people, otherwise he would be as culpable as they are .
So the kind God who would listen to you and the wise God who always knew best was vacant.
The point is where did this leave my belief system and my hopes.... Basically in ruins, and furthermore it's left a kind of scorched earth scene behind it , where if you can't rely on the one true God then nothing else will cut it .
Result .... Like many I suspect on here , a life full of unanswered questions and uncertainty, a hollow feeling, that you could at one time fix by praying to Jehovah, an annoying confusion that you once had all the answers and now you know you didn't really have any, it was all just an illusion and the reality of it all has left you confounded and alone,
all I can do is try to Delete and restart ,
How do some of you cope with the reality of once having everything and now left alone and having to rebuild?