Something I just realized!
Now that I'm out if i ever do find someone and settle down and start a family, my parents wont be a part of it. My dad wont walk me down the isle if i get married, if i have kids they wont know their grandparents. Oh and by the way i had my freaking tubes tied so as not to have kids in this system. So if I do wan't kids later i have to have a reversal surgery and it might not work! I know i'm not the only one in this situation, just sucks
So much we gave up being JWs and so much more we give up leaving the cult.
It's a life of loss however you slice it.
I think about my kids, when they get married (if they choose to), instead of a wedding with a few hundred people and tons of family, it will be quite small, with almost no family.
Makes me very sad.
Would you want to get married in a Church anyways ???
Try the reversal procure if you want children.
I would throw a leash to your parents and family either way, show that you care and are concerned.
JWS like it when you show guilt ridden remorse for leaving the JWS cult, so stay alert to that, it reconfirms their religoius beliefs.
Stay aware that your not going to let a corrupt, dangerous, ignorant and theological sinful organization lure you down like what it is doing to your family.
Take care and stay positive and happy your not being morbidly mind controlled by fear, superstition and ignorance.
Inviting jw to a wedding?
put them all on the same table out of the way so you can celebrate as you wish.
F. said it for me.
Adoption works too, look at all the poor kids at the border. They need a Mon and Dad
We are the victims of mentally induced tyranny. All the best with your free life. I certainly hope all your goals are achieved.
in my case my jw parents never shunned me. my dad said he couldnt find a scriptural precedence for it. they came to my second wedding--to a woman who was never a jw. we were all close. all 3 are now dead.
A big wedding doesn't make a good marriage. What does is someone who will love your weaknesses and fears andhelp you through. A lot of inlaws take in and love the ones who marry in as much as their own. Until you meet the right person you can't understand this, when you do it just falls to place
A big platonic hug to you, Nikki.
I have family in the JW's, my wife and my mother and my in-law family. But I realize that my particular situation has enabled me to avoid family shunning. I have no kids that are torn between the world and the religion of my wife. So I am plenty depressed at times about what I am dealing with, but I recognize that some have it worse.
We have former JW's that don't get to see their grandchildren or whose entire family shuns them.
All I can say is that if I had to go through some or all of that kind of stuff, I would rather do that rather than quietly go back to the Kingdom Hall and live PIMO (physically IN, mentally OUT). If I did have little kids, I would get DF'ed because I would want to offer them a real life with extracurricular activities, holidays, birthdays, dating, music, fun. I wouldn't want to skirt the issues to keep peace in the family and let the kids suffer.
And in many ways, I do that for myself. I don't skirt the issues to keep peace in the family. I tell the family to avoid discussion of the religion and so will I. That's peace enough. I lost my JW friends but not the family. I got new friends who are way better now anyway. And if I had to lose the relatives, my good friends are up to taking their place.
You do need to slow down, but not stop living a regular life. You can pursue a love interest. Just know that you might need to find yourself more than find someone else. But no harm in doing both. "Road to nowhere" above said it beautifully. My half-brother is so much younger than me and we don't really know each other. I have reached out, but his family situation is really damaged by his circumstances. I don't know how it's working out, but he married a lady with kids and who was tight with her family. He embraced her family because they were what he needed. I hope he's happy. I hope you find what you need and embrace it.
All I can say is that if I had to go through some or all of that kind of stuff, I would rather do that rather than quietly go back to the Kingdom Hall and live PIMO If I did have little kids, I would get DF'ed because I would want to offer them a real life with extracurricular activities, holidays, birthdays, dating, music, fun. I wouldn't want to skirt the issues to keep peace in the family and let the kids suffer.