Help - it's drawing me in again

by AJN 31 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  AJN

  Hmm, not sure how to write this - here goes:

  I left the JW's about 15 years ago however my 18 year old son is a Witness. We haven't seen each other for many years and the only contact we have is via the telephone occasionally (all this is cool btw). Just recently I've been thinking about the religion and wondering about spiritual things in general. I also feel I have some responsiblity regarding my son being in the "Truth" so in order to find a way to approach this responsibility I have recently been reading here and other Ex-JW sites hoping to basically 'deprogram' myself as much as eventually my son. There was a lot of stuff undealt with regarding scripture and beliefs etc which I just basically ignored until recently.

  OK - this might sound wierd but I've been feeling the 'draw' into it again. There is a need for an emotional connection which is sorely missing from my life as it is at present. It's something I think I might need to address as if I don't I might get pulled back into the "Truth" again. I don't know if this is anything to do with my doubt that there is a God and the need for a connection there which might possibly heal a lot of troubles in my life.

  From what I remember and have read lately there were some *good* things about being in the "Truth" - I thought the people in my old congregation were genuine and believed what they taught because it was taken out of the Bible. I'm sure the turnabout that the WTBTS made regarding the 1914 date has however shaken some, and probably greatly dissapointed them too. It's had an impact on me and my unresolved issues regarding my time in the "Truth".

  It seems there is a part of me that still believes there is a lot of 'Truth' in the 'Truth' and that's a bit scary as I need to resolve my feelings around this before I can be strong enough to really talk to my son about it all.

  I don't know if this is the right question to ask but don't any of you feel there might be genuine 'Truth' in the 'Truth'? Some of you seem so sure that there isn't - how can you be so sure?

  Hmm, don't worry - I'm not trying to infiltrate the board lol - these are genuine questions. I'd love to hear your opinions on it so be straight with me k?
• 

  Euphemism

  Kudos for your openness, AJN.

  I guess I should ask you a few questions, first... do you still believe in the Bible? What are your ideas about God? Or are those things you're not sure about?

  I agree with you that there are undoubtedly some good things about the JW religion. The problem is that every one of them is tainted. We had a thread about that a little while back. Even commendable things like not going to war, or abstaining from drugs, are tainted by the overreaching rules and systems of control that the Society attaches to them.

  In a nutshell, here's the question. Irrespective of how much good or bad there is in the religion... do you believe that the Governing Body is God's channel on earth, and that everyone except for Jehovah's Witnesses are at enmity with God? If not, then you are disagreeing with the fundamental doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses, the one thing that keeps them together as a community. Any gains you might make through this community, any friendship or spiritual satisfaction you might find, would be made hollow by the fact that if they knew your opinion on this one fundamental question, they would drop you like a radioactive bomb.
• 

  Big Tex

  Howdy AJN.

  My feeling is this: no one *knows* anything about God. It is all about faith. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.

  Background: I started studying at 9 years old, a year before my parents; pioneered 3 years MS at 20 but left at 27 over the 2 witness rule. As far as Jehovah's Witnesses are concerned, I feel I am demonstrating greater faith in God now than I was then. The Witnesses teach that anyone not going to meetings and out in service will be killed by God. I have told God I don't agree with this. I was disgusted and angry at what I saw in the organization when I left, and I truly believe if that organization was the ONLY way to God, then he would let me know this.

  You see, I believe in a God who is inclusive who wants everyone, and not exclusive with conditional love. If you want to talk to your doubts, I highly recommend reading posts from a brilliant former District Overseer. He was peers with Franz and Knorr. If you are toying with going back, read through some of his posts to get an idea of what you really going back to.

  This is a good place to start:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/6288/1.ashx

  Oh, one other thread you should read. This is by another poster, just as brilliant, who shows the truth about the Governing Body:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/5466/1.ashx
• 

  Narkissos

  Hello AJN,

  I'm a newbie too but I just happened to read your post, and I liked it.

  I'd say all the truth in "the Truth" is the truth of life. Every religion or philosophy lives by it, but it doesn't belong to anyone. There's something crooked in pinning a flag on it.

  Just "breathe in the air", you're entitled to it, you don't need any label.

  Take care,

  Narkissos
• 

  DanTheMan

  Wish I had some easy advice, but I'm not sure what to say. The "truth" has a strangely addictive quality to it, it shrinks our complex, painful world into a very nice tidy black and white package where everything turns out happy in the end (for JW's and those fortunate enough to have died before the big A hits).

  I don't know if this is the right question to ask but don't any of you feel there might be genuine 'Truth' in the 'Truth'? Some of you seem so sure that there isn't - how can you be so sure?

  Well, when you make assertions, the burden of proof falls on you.

  The Watchtower claims to be the chosen representatives of God, and that your only hope lies in being in touch with this channel. Proof please.

  The Watchtower claims that Jesus came invisibly in 1914 and cleaned house, choosing the WT to be his faithful and discreet slave. Proof please.

  The Watchtower claimed that according to "trustworthy Bible chronology", 6000 years of makind's existence would be over in 1975, and that this would surely be a "Most fitting" time for Jehovah to act. What happened? Who gave them that "light"? What "truth" were they dispensing? A boon for recruiting in an organization that was floundering, that's all, nothing else.

  For the past 125 years, the Watchtower has been claiming that we are sooooo close to Armageddon. We're still waiting.

  The Watchtower claims that taking a blood transfusion is a grave sin, and JW's who commit this awful sin are DF'd far quicker than a convicted murderer or pedophile.

  The Watchtower claims that they don't break up families. LOL

  They claim to be politically neutral, yet were a UN NGO for 10 years, until they were found out and exposed.

  The Watchtower claims that they don't dissuade JW children who have been sexually abused by a JW from going to the secular authorities. Yeah right.

  The "truth" it ain't. The Watchtower is a snare and a racket.
• 

  imallgrowedup

  AJN -

  Welcome to the board! You have found the right place to put your questions out.

  I don't know if this is the right question to ask but don't any of you feel there might be genuine 'Truth' in the 'Truth'? Some of you seem so sure that there isn't - how can you be so sure?

  My answer to the highlighted question you ask is: NOPE.

  AJN - If have not done so already, please be sure to check out www.freeminds.org This incredible website will open your eyes in ways they've not been opened before. You will be able to find concrete documentation that proves that the WTBTS is a fraud. Here are some of the things you will find:

  1. Proof of child abuse within the org that has been covered up - at the direction of the Society.

  2. Proof that the WTBTS was a member of the UNITED NATIONS as an NGO for 10 years

  3. Proof that the WTBTS has been involved with a company named "Rand Cam" which manufactures engines - that were used in US helicopters during the war with Iraq

  4. Proof that the WTBTS is financially contributing to "worldly" causes such as the United Way - while at the same time telling it's members it needs more money

  5. Proof of the WTBTS lost a child abuse lawsuit in Canada, then turned around and demanded the victim pay THEIR attorney bills.

  6. Proof that the WTBTS is in the process of building high-rise apartment buildings in the DUMBO area of New York - while they are also SELLING their property in Brooklyn and moving to Patterson, NY.

  7. Proof that the "founding father" of the JW's, C.T. Russell, was into astrology and pyramidology.

  8. Proof of every sort of the continually-changing doctrine of the JW's.

  AJN - I understand you may feel the "draw" again - just please don't act on it until you take a look at what is freely available for you to examine. While you are reading this information, please try to answer this question: Are you sure you want to place your salvation in a religion that has fornicated with the wild beast, dabbled with the occult, been a party to the making of machines of war, and harbors child abusers? Question #2: Do you think a religion that has participated in these activities is directed by God, or by His nemisis - Satan?

  Be sure to check out www.freeminds.org - and then - DON'T GO BACK!

  growedup
• 

  Winston Smith :>D

  Would you drink a glass of water if it had even a little bit of poison in it?

  Ha! I heard that illustration all of the time from the platform in regards to why we wouldn't celebrate holidays, read other literature, clink glasses and say 'Cheers', not say "Bless You when you sneezed', yada, yada, yada...

  Sure, there are many great, genuine people in the WTS. THere are some that I miss at times, although I can count that number on one hand at this point. If you would have asked me who were my friends 6 months ago in the KH, I would have said everyone. Tough times sure weed out the fake from the real.

  And yes, there are helpful teachings in the WTS. It has helped some become better people from where they were before.

  But the same could be said of many other organizations. But I couldn't say that there is so much BAD in these other organizations as I could of the JW's. The WTS is NEVER wrong! You can't think or decide for yourself. And any organization that thinks so little of you getting your spiritual training for your own conscience just by doing your own Bible reading and praying is a dangerous organization in my eyes. They are putting themselves between you and God & Jesus. Dangerous position to be putting themselves in.

  I don't know what amount of exposure you have had to other thoughts RE the WTS, but a good place to start to be healed of a JW mindset is by reading CoC by Ray Franz. His second book is excellent also.

  For an emotional attachment, yes, get some non-JW friends. There is some great people out there. Join a club; dancing, biking, cards, guns, strippers, Bible study, Boy Scouts, whatever interests you. Attend an "Apostafest'. Those sound fun!

  For the spititual side, IMHO, there is more to the bible than what the WTS has let you see. Read other translations. And no, the WTS hasn't cornered the market on great Bible 'Truths' from jehover such as a Paradise on Earth full of perfect people or 'soul sleep'. The Seven Day adventist church and Armstrong's 'Plain Truth' belive similar things.

  Plus, you always have us here

  Best wishes, and keep the Q's coming!!!

  Winston.
• 

  JamesThomas

  don't any of you feel there might be genuine 'Truth' in the 'Truth'? Some of you seem so sure that there isn't - how can you be so sure?

  I'm sure. Having doubts about not being a Witness is not a problem if you do a little serious introspection. There is wisdom within you that will put an end to your ever again questioning your decision. You will finally be truly free.
  
  You can research doctrine and perhaps conclude that the Witnesses are wrong, but this only effects an intellectual level, and in the future you could find yourself questioning your decision. Going to deeper levels puts an end to the questions -- forever.
  
  So, here goes. Are you ready?
  
  I'm going to ask you a question. This question is not directed to your mind, but rather your heart. You know, that place in you where you silently feel the warm sense of love and compassion.
  
  AJN, can you honestly and sincerely love and worship a God who will kill you if you don't?
  
  Please take time to really dwell on this question. Meditate on it. Dwell on it until there is absolutely no question or confusion as to your heartfelt and true answer.
  
  Can you truly love and serve that which goes against the very nature of love? Can you?
  
  The wisdom within you can be like a bright light. A light that can show you the ways not to go. The way, then becomes obvious.
  
  j
• 

  garybuss

  
  That feeling of thinking like a Witness and wanting to go back on some level, is called floating. It's a symptom of being in a high control group. It will pass whether we go back or not. When that happens it is a good indication that we need exit counseling and an issue by issue research exercise to challenge our assumptions and beliefs based on those assumptions.
  
  
• 

  got my forty homey?

  Dont worry once the loser Elders start prying into your life, and you have to start preparing meeting parts, and worse, knock on peoples doors to sell them books for a million dollar corporation you'll run so fast and then find the real "truth". And that is you eat, sleep, work, shyt, f*&^, and die. There is no afterlife or ufo's or life on other planets, this is it, life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering!

  Have a nice day and enjoy it!