So a JW can date an unbelieving person...

by silentbuddha 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • silentbuddha

    but the entire congregation is not to be informed or mark the person. The only repercussions are that the individual who is aware of it can decide to "mark" them and not go to the local club or bar with the individual, but they are still obligated to go door to door in the ministry with them, and even speak to them at the KN as if nothing is wrong and not feel obligated to tell anyone else? This is crazy.

    So they are also basically saying that a person can carry on a romantic (but none sexual) relationship with an unbeliever and still go out in service and participate in meetings? My how things have changed

  • vienne

    That's not a change. Except no marking talk.

  • DesirousOfChange
    Except no marking talk.

    That is a big change.

    a person can carry on a romantic (but none sexual) relationship with an unbeliever and still go out in service and participate in meetings

    That is an even bigger change. In the past, a person could be DF for continuing a relationship with an unbeliever (required multiple warnings re: marry only in the Lord).

  • vienne

    D of C, where in the publications does it say a person could be disfellowshipped for "continuing a relationship with an unbeliever." I can't find that, and I could use it in a conversation with a relative.

  • silentbuddha

    My family went through this in the 90's, and she was not allowed to give talks, go out in service and she was definitely marked as a talk was given about not dating an unbeliever. My father was a ministerial servant at the time was told that if he continued to let her live in the house while she dated a "worldly" person, he would be removed as a servant.

    This resulted in her being put out of the house and she ultimately had to move in with the guy and his mother. The circuit overseer even came by our home to chastise my father about this with 2 other elders. So as far as I remember this has not always been the case.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    The ulterior motive behind the Borg not wanting its members to not date/marry non jws is,,, the Borg needs the craziness us vs. them mentality to continue. And the like-mindednes to resume.

    Its always loyalty,loyalty & unity ,unity & unity & the donations$$$$ keep rolling in.

    They cant have any diversions.

    Any jw breaking the mold is dealt with the threat of being kicked out or labelled as "bad".

  • Biahi

    Maybe some “Nu-Lite” is needed. Perhaps apply 1Thessalonians 4:11, which tells us to mind our own business.

  • Vidiot

    Ten bucks says they’re changing this up ‘cause young single JW women outnumber JW men just way too much at this point, and (biology being what it is) end up hooking up with “worldly” guys, anyway.

    At least this way, the Org might acquire some new blood (yeah, right).

  • Listener

    This affected me immensely.

    My father, an Elder told me I had to attend a JC, nobody told me why until I was at the JC. I had started meeting a guy after work for half an hour. A JW taxi driver from another congregation, who I didn’t know and had never spoken to, had reported the meeting.

    At the JC I was told I would be publicly marked. There were no questions, just reprisal. I asked where this policy came from and was told they had received a letter from the Branch only the month before. Apparently it was in an old Watchtower but I had not read it and they didn’t mention it. I asked to see the letter. I remember vividly the total silence and the funny looks all three of the Elders had until one piped up and said that the letters were only for the Elders to view.

    I was shocked and deflated. I had no idea there were secret instructions to the Elders or that I could be hauled in front of three men at any time for who knows what. It left my head spinning and I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. My father wouldn’t talk to me at all. I couldn’t live at home like this, it was not a home any more. I had to leave. Not one jw from the congregation reached out until later, after it was discovered that I was living with someone. An Elder called me at work and asked that I attend a JC. I asked that he leave me alone.

    At 19 and having been cocooned in a cult all my life I was too young to be virtually on my own.

    The Elders had been tough on me at the JC because this was my second one and the first had been a train wreck which would have left them embarrassed and humiliated (and had been very difficult for me). All from no fault of my own, other than maybe being an Elders daughter. So the Elders went all out even though they couldn’t df and it was a sin for which they could only mark me for. But they didn’t even ask if I would stop seeing the bloke or when the marking would be lifted. I was in the dark about what they were doing.

    The Elder that had called me at work and whom was a close friend of my father, had said in the conversation that I should come back and prove the Elders (on my JC) wrong. I still find that distasteful today because I thought he was more spiritual than the others yet putting a challenge like that is not shepherding or Christian.

    Although I am not disfellowshipped, I would still be marked.

    I doubt any of this would have happened under the new arrangement but I don’t know when I would have woken up either.

  • Earnest

    Vienne, a person cannot be disfellowshipped for "continuing a relationship with an unbeliever" unless they are not scripturally free to marry. In that case, Shepherd the Flock of God, April 2024, Chapter 12, 17 (2) states

    Continuing to date or to pursue a romantic relationship with a person though one or both are not legally or Scripturally free to remarry, doing so despite repeated counsel and generally after a warning talk to the congregation, would warrant judicial action.—Gal. 5:19; 2 Thess. 3:6, 14, 15

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