If this is a 12 year relationship and he is drinking heavily then you need the right tools to carve out some changes.
Isnt that what God would want you to do? Have you heard the saying "God helps those who help themselves"?
People can help some with ideas also.
Here is a good idea for you because I would like to help you.
Go to Al-anon
They will give you the tools you need.
After you attend a meeting, people will be able to help you even more. I wish you much success.