10 years on and I’m still indoctrinated

by joe134cd 14 Replies latest jw experiences

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  joe134cd

  This experience highlights the level of my indoctrination, after 10 years of been a POMO. A few months back my GF was hinting to me about what we could do for my birthday. To be honest I just had no idea, that I even had a birthday. It wasn’t until she frustratingly came out and stated to me it was my birthday that I realised what was going on. Although she was understanding, she felt as though I didn’t want to shear this occasion with her. I guess it just goes to show the different mindsets.

  Although I never stated this to her, I really can’t be bothered with birthdays and Christmas. I actually see this as an advantage of been a former JW. I kind of feel embarrassed having a Birthday. But I conceded to a restaurant meal. It goes to show the level of my conditioning.
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  Mandrake

  Same here, ten years since I left, and its a little bit puzzling for my college-era friends and for my girlfriend (we've been together 9 years and counting). The days before my birthday I go from full "birthday negationism" to enjoy my cake at the end hahaha.

  But what hurt me most, I that my mom is not a born in, so after she left the Borg, automatically restored her ways around holidays and birthdays and sometimes get mad at me for "forgetting her birthday", but it's like, "Hey, YOU RAISED ME LIKE THIS! I have no clue to my extended family dates anyway...
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  enoughisenough

  I wasn't raised JW and we never had birthday parties...I never felt like I was missing anything...I don't get why some who were raised JW feel slighted...
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  LongHairGal

  MANDRAKE:

  As with the OP, it’s all about what you knew. People also forget that what happens to us in our early childhood sticks with us.

  I can relate to your mom because she was not raised a JW and when she left she just was able to resume her life before the Witness religion. That’s what I did as well. While celebrating birthdays isn’t a big deal for me and I can take it or leave it, I do like the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas because I associate them with happy times and non-JW relatives who were the only people who truly cared about me.. I am glad I realized this fact before it was too late 🕰 and that I was able to reconnect with everybody!

  As ex-JWs it’s all about making yourself happy and comfortable navigating your way through the world and you can pick and choose what you want. You don’t necessarily have to get all interested in birthdays or holidays just because the religion forbade it. It’s perfectly okay. This would be like adopting a reckless lifestyle just because it’s directly opposite the values of the JWs and other religions.
  

  Do what you are comfortable with.
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  SouthCentral

  Unfortunately; We will ALWAYS be a witness (or EX-witness) in some form.

  It's like the song; Hotel California!! You can never leave.

  It's THAT traumatizing!
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  BettyHumpter

  "Although I never stated this to her, I really can’t be bothered with birthdays and Christmas. I actually see this as an advantage of been a former JW. I kind of feel embarrassed having a Birthday."
  
  I understand this. About birthdays at least. Even though i've been out for 25+ years,birthdays feel embarrassing. My friends and non JW side of the family make a sort of big deal over it and it just makes me uncomfortable being the center of attention. I go along and appreciate the fact that people care enough to make it a special day, but the uncomfortable feeling has never left. I sometimes wonder if that's just more me as a person than JW leftovers.
  
  Christmas and Thanksgiving however, I really like that one. Old friends back in town that maybe you only see that time of year, that sort of thing. I'm sure it also helps that some of my family were not witnesses so I had ready made traditions I was welcome into. I know that for some who leave it's just...nothing.
  
  
  
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  Sea Breeze

  I really can’t be bothered with birthdays and Christmas. I actually see this as an advantage of been a former JW.

  Well, the way my (non-jw) wife explained it was that it wasn't about me, it was about the people who want to display love to you on those occasions. So, it's one of the things that is cultural and will likely create hard feelings and hurt others if not participated in. Just another nagging left-over issue from WT mind control.

  Now go get some cake!
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  Nathan Natas

  I'm 50 years out, and I still remember the way I "ought to" behave. Then I take a deep breath and do the opposite, usually.
  
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  smiddy3

  I can understand born ins having more trouble shaking off the indoctrination , as a convert as a 19yo I didn`t have much trouble resuming a more balanced way of life.

  And I must admit the religion did help me to curb some of my more bad habits I had .like excessive drinking and smoking as a teenager.
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  BluesBrother

  I can’t be bothered with a birthday….. it all seems childish to me. Why would a grown man need to be the centre of attention, blow out candles on a cake and receive presents he could have bought himself if he wanted one?

  When I was at work I woke up from the Watchtower and took pleasure in telling my workmates how wrong it all was and how wrong I had been. I still never let on about my birthday though….. did not want it.